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Should I ask her on a date? and how?

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Question - (9 January 2012) 10 Answers - (Newest, 18 May 2012)
A male age 30-35, *atthew-matt writes:

There is woman about my age working in my local cafè I really like her and I think she is giving me signs smiles and waves when i come in and asks how I am and when in the Q she is not like that to the other customers the thing is though there is always two members of staff there and I don't Want to ask her on a date in front of the other member of staff I have tried to go to the sugar stand eaven though I don't have sugar hoping she would come and " clean" or find some other excuse for her to come near me to see if I ask her or sit where there is not many people are in the area for her to come near me but it don't happen maybe she is shy or maybe I should ask her infront of the other member of staff I don't know what to do

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A male reader, matthew-matt  +, writes (18 May 2012):

matthew-matt is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Just to let you know I asked her out on a date she smiled and said she has a boyfriend she then took a few steps look back smiled again and went into the back (whitch she was going to that direction anyway)

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A male reader, matthew-matt  +, writes (26 January 2012):

matthew-matt is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Hi i asked her out on a date today when she asked me how i was for the second time during my visit i asked her not sure if she heard me or if she chose not to hear me as she didn't react at all as i left she smiled and said see you next time

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A female reader, PerhapsNot United States +, writes (12 January 2012):

PerhapsNot agony auntIf you don't want to ask her for her number discuss time availability face to face. If you're planning to take her out to eat, ask her for her favorite spot and take her there.

If you giver her your number, be prepared that she may never call you. A few men have given me their number, and you know what I did? Nothing. A man giving a woman his number is such a half-assed declaration of interest. There is nothing assertive, or manly about it. You're the one that interested in take her out, so you should be doing ALL the actions.

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A male reader, matthew-matt  +, writes (12 January 2012):

matthew-matt is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I went the café today but she wasnt there i will have to go again next time i have a day off work The only problem about taking her number is that she might not know her mobile number from the top of her head and as she is working she might not have it on her for her to look it up and I wouldn't give somone I don't know enough about my home number so I don't expect her to do the same

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A female reader, PerhapsNot United States +, writes (10 January 2012):

PerhapsNot agony auntNext time you enter the cafe, go directly to her location. Say your greeting and let her know that through the course of visiting the cafe, you have become interested in her and ask her if she would be interested to go on a date with you. Don't give her your number, but take down hers. A woman would much rather the man take the initiative and do the calling.

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (10 January 2012):

person12345 agony auntYou don't want to make her uncomfortable by misinterpreting, so make sure you give her an easy exit if she's uncomfortable or doesn't feel the same. You're right, definitely do NOT ask her out in front of the whole staff. If she is a cashier, put your number on top of some bills (visible, and make sure you use exact change) smile, and leave so the ball is in her court. I once asked out a waiter that way. If that's not what she does, next time she asks how you are, say you have a question, then quietly say you'd like to buy her a coffee, give her a number and let her come to you if she wants to.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2012):

Why dont you discreetly give her a peice of paper with your number on it when you are giving her the money for coffee :)

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A female reader, celtic_tiger United Kingdom +, writes (10 January 2012):

celtic_tiger agony auntThere may be a policy about not dating clients, just be careful. A lot of businesses do not encourage flirtation with customers, and you would not want to get her into trouble.

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A female reader, Mickkiee United Kingdom +, writes (10 January 2012):

Mickkiee agony auntHey,

I would say to test a water, drop a sublte hint, make her know that your interested because if its not returned you've boosted her confidence anyway so its win win kind of.! To be honest Although there are other staff there make a point of sayin got her next time your in the queue something like i bet you never get a break here, ask her can you buy her a coffee something funny like that as she works in that specific area. Alot of women fear rejection especially with other women present so the more you do to give her an indication the better.

All the best

Mickkieee x

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A male reader, Beanscat United States +, writes (10 January 2012):

She is probably either shy, doesn't understand that your trying to get her alone or is not sure that you like her. My advise is to maybe make like a small mess at the sugar stand or something similar and ask her sepicifically for her to help clean and when your done ask her out. But if your uncomfortable doing that I would just ask her out the next time your there.

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