A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I broke up with my long distance ex-boyfriend 3 weeks ago. I've decided no contact with him is best for me to get over him, so we haven't spoken since the break up.I just found out that he's in a new relationship. It's been 3 weeks!! I was doing soo well, not crying over him/thinking about him as much.. and then this shocker happens. It's like I'm right back at square one. But I left him because he treated me like crap, and I KNOW I deserve better. But we dated for 10 months, and knew each other for 1 year. And he's with another girl in 3 weeks?! He told me his ex-girl before me took him 2 years to get over!!! How is this even possible? Is she a rebound girl? How did he find a girl so fast, and make her his gf in 3 weeks?!! Is he dating her to get over me?!I just need advice. I REALLY WANT to get over him, I know he's not the person for me, but obviously I still care for him. I know it takes time. I think not talking to him helps, the only thing is I still sometimes go on his facebook and twitter. (Facebook is how I found out about the new gf, which everyone commented on congratulating him :/) I've now blocked these websites, and so far haven't looked at them in 2 days. I find that to be one of the hardest things, because I DO want to know what he's up to..but it only haults the getting over him process.Please, any advice would help. It's like a slap in the face knowing that he moved on fast, so this just adds more hurt to my heart. Thanks. I'm 19/f, he's 22/m if that helps at all. Thanks :(
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2010): I think he may have been with her before you broke up. But you never know. Listen to me you are both so young. This woman is the flavor of the month. If she is this easy it will die soon. He treated you bad he will try the same with her. He got hurt before you so now he goes out not showing no respect to any woman, so he does not get hurt. We reep what we sow. I know it hurts - he's a jerk. You are going to feel this way until you are ready to move on. That will take as long as it takes. Take it a day at a time give yourself permission to feel what you feel. Stay busy, go out enjoy life as much as you can. Read a book, start a project. Surround yourself with friends. Be glad that you did not waste more of your time on this jerk. I hope you are in college - if not now would be a good time to think about it. Another man will come along soon, date if you feel like. When I was your age and had my heart broken I went out and slept around. I am not saying that is what you should do. But I had fun I enjoyed, I lived I made mistakes - I played.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (26 May 2010):
The fact that he's moved on shows how little he really cared. You are better without him and you know it. Chances are this is a rebound. Just stop looking at him. Every time you want to, remember that you don't want to turn into a stalker and that you can do better. I'd say you had a lucky escape to be honest.
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A
female
reader, MissKin +, writes (26 May 2010):
 I think you should delete him from facebook. and twitter. and from your phone. and your contacts on msn. and from any email accounts you have (any messages he sent you) and completely cleanse yourself but don't forget it all completely, treat is a learning curve. You know he treated you like crap. Ur the one that left him - and maybe he is rebounding, but you shouldn't care regardless. Just feel bad for this poor girl thats with him now if he treats her the same way. You need to stick to what you're doing, and try not to think about what he's doing. it doesnt matter what he's doing if you don't want him in your life anymore.
There is always a part of us that holds onto the relationships of the past. There's a part of us that can't let go. You need to look at it from a different perspective, if he's moved on so fast - then so should you. forget WHY or HOW he's moved on so fast. Because it doesnt matter. Surround yourself with people you love and that love you, and get out there and move forward. It'll get easier. Just remind yourself of all the reasons that you're better off this way!
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