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anonymous
writes: Hello,I am 21 years old and a few weeks ago started chatting to a woman over the internet. We met in a chat room and seemed to get on, we then started emailing each other, pic sharing etc... she lives quite local to me and it seems that we have both fallen in love with each other which is great.We have spoken on the phone and we text each other and we both feel really happy and in love with each other...However the problem is that she is 36 years old and married with two children, she also is a larger sized lady, which, is not a problem to me as i have fallen in love with her personality and her looks, she is very cute!We decided that since she was married that this should be a n/s/a fling, which is fine by me, to be honest i do eventually want to marry some one my own age, so we have decided to keep it quiet and just have n/s/a fun.The other night we were talking about where we could meet and she suggested my student house whom i share with 3 other people, i said i wasnt too keen on this idea because i want to keep it discreet. Now she thinks that im embarrased to be seen with her, which is sort of true, she said if i really loved her then i wouldn't care who saw us. In a way i agree with her, i don't care, whats my business is my business. However, i don't think i could cope with all the comments and piss taking, can you imagine what all my mates would say when i bring a well brought up women, 15 years older than me, and is quite large, who has a totally different lifestyle to me, back to my student house where theres never a quiet moment, always a party environment, and quite alot of drug use... i don't do drugs, but i have nothing against people who do.I'm quite a shy person and would not be able to cope with eveyone knowing about us...the other night when i told her i didnt want to meet at my house, she started crying and was really upset, this made me feel really bad, and have felt depressed over it since.I don't know what to do and would like to hear your thoughts on what i should do...Thanks alot
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A reader, Emma, writes (22 February 2005): Hello my dear,You say that you want to meet someone your own age and eventually marry them, then why are you with someone who is 15 years older then you?I can understand that you have feelings for her, but is it really love? I dont think that it is. I do believe that you care about her, but I dont think that you are in love and I think that you need think about what it is that you want.I can understand that you did'nt want to bring her back. You have really answered your own question. Why would you want to be seen with a woman who is 15 years older then you? You say that you dont want to be the joke to all of your friends, the fact of the matter is you do need to set the record srtaight. If you do love her and she loves you like you say then you need to tell her what your commfortable with and what your not, and this includes where you do and dont want to meet up. She may feel that you feel ashamed to be seen with her because of the way that she looks, or that you may be only using her.Meet up with her, if that is what you both want, where it is quiiet, and where you can talk without any interuptions. Express what you feel and let her do the same. If you cannot come to some agreement with each other then you will have to go you seperate ways and find someone of your own age.
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