A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Maybe need a lil help. Been having an affair wiv a girl whos a complete bitch but adorable at times too. Shes stayin wiv her security (boyf) but says she met him first but is still f**king me? She feels so guilty i know but caves in for me but at other times treats me like a piece of dirt. Took ages to get her cos she is deep down a good girl but we share something wild which is what we both are underneath. Shes just broke off wiv me and gone away wiv him she comes back and is in town we hook up and blow each others minds/bodies again and have a week of lil standoffs. Speak before she goes away wiv him and all his friends and thier wives/girlfriends says shes leavin her phone at home incase she looses it. 5 mins after shes home shes ringing again! Its driving me nuts. So she tells me the reason the phone is at home is cos she would be textin/ringin when drunk!!! So we meet up again two days later and just prior she has big guilt trips again. Still meet up and have top time. She leaves the next day sayin she had to go see him!! She had agreed to go round as she didnt last night (she was wiv me) to make up??? So i leave it. She is home a 2 days later and text sayin she is sorry for not callin in on the way through an not to be mad? I ignore along wiv 15 calls that day and about 7 texts? Did ring the next day and told her was mad for her games and apologised for mine (not pickin up) but is now a big stand off! Text askin if she was still mad at me no reply. So just text back im glad cos its all you fault. I am now gonna walk. Do you guys think she gives a shit cos i do but are both behaving like kids to see who wins??? Break off contact? We get on so well though but then theres the sex part?
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2007): I must admit, I've tried to read through your post 3 times now and apart from understanding the first 3 lines - ie. that you are playing second fiddle to this other guy, the rest of it doesn't make that much sense to me.
Why not find a girl that has no other ties and who can devote all her time to you, rather than playing stupid games like the girl you mention here.
Are you really aged 30-35? Wiv yor spellin the way it is I wud ov thort you was much yunger.
Phil
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2007): You obviously have feelings for her otherwise you wouldn't be mad at her. I assume you were aware that when you started the affair that she was living with someone else...so now you want to change the goalposts.Do you want to make it an exclusive relationship with her or is it just the sex that interests you. You will have to decide. Maybe she thinks it is an affair and will burn out and does not want to give her other guy up.What does she get from the guy she is living with..financial security?
You have let her have her cake and eat it and basically agreed from the start that you accepted her situation. You have two options here..1. If you really want a relationship with her, then tell her outright what it is you want and what you are prepared to offer her. That you and her are exclusive and no other partners.If she says no then at least you know where you stand. or 2. If it is just about the sex, then just walk away, someone else will come along for you sooner or later. What you will have to bear in mind is that she did cheat on her partner, so could she be capable of doing it again to you? But then again you are not innocent in this matter as you helped her along with her cheating.
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