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male
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*reggo
writes: hi heres the deal.im 43 my gf is 40.we have been serious for 19 months till oct when she said she needs a break and wants to be free to date other men.ive given her a 5 week break in which the only contact has been from her.she called me yesterday and says she still cares deeply for me and misses me and likes me.she says she doesnt want to do serious but she wants to still me on a casual basis as well as to see the guy she is currently dating also on a casual basis.im seeing her on tuesday.part of me wants this arrangement cause we do get on and i think i can accept that it is partially over and im big enough to handle casual.i just need some other peoples ideas etc.no disrespect to teenagers but id rather adults reply thanks.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2006): This lady sounds emotionaly mixed up.Your willingness will be her tower of strength,like an emotional fallback if things dont work out for her.In a word you are being used, she¬s seeing you as a soft touch.Tell her no thankyou,but i`m now in a loving monogomous relationship with a wonderful woman.Get out there and you may find a good woman.First thing,.however difficult,free yourself of this selfish,complicated waste of feeling.Good luck. (aged 44).
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male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (3 December 2006):
 I beleive the seriousiness of the relationship is definately over, at least for her. My only suggestion is to be careful of your intent. If you hope that she will eventually want you back full time, it is unlikely to happen. Make sure that you are also seeing other people, and do not force yourself to listen to her talk about her other lovers if you really can not take it.
Because of your past relationship, you might very well start hurting everytime she leaves after sex...that is the part you are going to have to manage. Your past together makes this an emotionally dangerous road for you. Be sure that you won't slip into some kind of depression from it.
-Frank B Kermit
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