A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:This girl that I met and have seen off and on for about the last 3 years says I'm too good for her.I'll try to give the shortest posstible version of this story. It started off when this girl and I met, hung out for about 3 months and really liked each other, but she was so insecure she didn't think I liked her and ended up running back to her ex, who again mistreated and abused her. After things with her ex failed again, she tried to get me back but I was with someone else at the time. Well she pursued me for the entire duration of that relationship til she finally got me back about a year and a half later.We started seeing each other again and it was fantastic for a good 5 months. During our relationship she'd routinely say things like "Wouldn't you rather be with prettier skinny girls?" and "Why do you like me?", and "You're too good for me". Also she'd stare at the ceiling while we laid together and say "My god how can this be real?"After about 5 months though, she ended up dumping me with no real reasons from her other than that I was too good for her and deserved someone better. She ended up going out with someone else a couple months later, but continued to contact me every so often through text message. While she was still seeing this person, I wrote her a 6 page letter explaining my true feelings for her but she dismissed as a game for me to get her to come back to me just so I could hurt her back for dumping me...A couple months after that she texted me how much she loved me and missed me, and would be back in my arms in a moment's notice, except she didn't want to hurt this other guy she was still seeing because she said he didn't deserve it.And now a couple months after that, we've been texting all day, every day for about the last 3 weeks. She's still been seeing this other guy but went on flirting with me for 2 weeks before she told me she was still seeing him. Her reason? She said she really loved talking to me again and didn't want to ruin it by telling me she had a boyfriend.I asked her straight out, "Why don't you leave him and come be with me again?" and her answer was that i'm too good for her and deserve someone way better than her. Then she started to list all the reasons she thinks I'm too good for her, like she thinks I'm too smart for her, too good looking etc etc.I tried telling her how special she is again and she's yet again gone silent. I do want her back, and I can tell she still has feelings for me. I just wonder what I should do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2010): Simply forget her. You've both been with different people, and it never works out going back to exs! Met far to many people in my life who have tried it, and it's always, always failed after a while.
Find yourself a new girl, because the one thing you are doing. Is being that guy who lets a girl cheat. How would you like it, if she was with you and she cheated on you?
You know she can do it, because she's doing it along with you!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2010):
I earned an Associates degree in Accounting, a Bachelors degree in English and Communications, a Masters degree in Finance, and a CPA candidate.
My father quit school upon completion of 8th grade. My mother earned a High School Diploma. My 11 siblings are gifted and talented and were placed in advanced level classes from the date they entered primary school up through the date all 11 either quit high school or were expelled. In contrast, I struggled with a learning disability and was placed in Special Education classes from the time I entered primary school up through 9th grade.
My educational achievements were not inspired nor supported by any of my family members. It was my struggle with learning which instilled an appreciation and continual drive for higher education.
Education is not what my parents stressed.
My Mother stressed honesty, trust, loyalty and respect of self and unconditional self-respect of another by way of Love.
My family is phemonally dysfunctional. However, all of my siblings and myself will split our last saltine cracker to lessen the hunger growls of a homeless unknown family.
The love of self and humanity is what matters most. Education, Money, and Materialistic items can be replaced but a life cannot.
Everyone has a heart.
How is it that a man of great status and wealth can frown down upon with disgust on a worn, filthy, illiterate, starving homeless man yet a second later nearly burst his lungs beckoning the very same homeless man to embrace his trembling hand to pull him from the street pole from which his imported shoestring tripped him to slip.
I know exactly how you feel. No one is better than your girlfriend.
~TEARS FROM EXISTENCE OF SOCIETAL BRAINWASH~
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A
female
reader, Mjfbla +, writes (29 November 2010):
 Honestly she most likely feels this way because of her abusive relationship. But why can she be with others guys without feeling that way? Because she loves you? The fact that she is willing to string this other guy along while telling you she loves you says a lot. I don't think you can change how she feels. You sound like a great guy who treated her right. If you get back with her I think you will always be trying to convince her that shes good enough. You will have to deal with the questions, plus her randomly breaking up with you because she can't handle holding you back. If she was so convinced she wasnt good for you why would she purse you so strongly while you were with someone else? Wouldnt she want you to be happy? Getting back with her will most likely lead you to a short period of happiness, followed by tension and stress because you will be trying to make someting work, or fix something that only she can do. You shouldnt get with her until she can admit she is good enough for you. You cant make her feel that way. Only she can. Its a metal/emotional thing.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (29 November 2010):
 She was in an abusive relationship before you so that could be why she feels as though you are too good for her. Some abusive relationships leave the victim questioning their own self-worth. They wonder whether anyone would ever want them or if they are good enough which is why she went back to that abusive ex, she thought he was the only one who would ever truly accept her and 'tolerate' her. It is just a guess though, I cannot be sure.
It is good you have put effort into showing her that she is good enough, keep telling her that she is more than good enough. Ask that she give this relationship one more chance and ask that she try not to think about whether she is good enough, feel the moment, ask that she remembers each moment she spent with you, tell her how you loved it and you loved it because you were with her, someone you treasure, someone you love dearly. If/when she does give this relationship another chance, try to make her feel beautiful, take her one dates and make her feel like the centre of that night. Although it does sound as though you have already tried your hardest.
It is her own personal journey. Tell her that if she ever feels as though she is not good enough, she can always talk to you (if you are willing to listen) because you do not want her to leave again.
I hope that helps.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael +, writes (29 November 2010):
She was in an abusive relationship before you so that could be why she feels as though you are too good for her. Some abusive relationships leave the victim questioning their own self-worth. They wonder whether anyone would ever want them or if they are good enough which is why she went back to that abusive ex, she thought he was the only one who would ever truly accept her and 'tolerate' her. It is just a guess though, I cannot be sure.
It is good you have put effort into showing her that she is good enough, keep telling her that she is more than good enough. Ask that she give this relationship one more chance and ask that she try not to think about whether she is good enough, feel the moment, ask that she remembers each moment she spent with you, tell her how you loved it and you loved it because you were with her, someone you treasure, someone you love dearly. If/when she does give this relationship another chance, try to make her feel beautiful, take her one dates and make her feel like the centre of that night. Although it does sound as though you have already tried your hardest.
It is her own personal journey. Tell her that if she ever feels as though she is not good enough, she can always talk to you (if you are willing to listen) because you do not want her to leave again.
I hope that helps.
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