A
male
age
30-35,
*omm_00
writes:my girlfriend and i have been together for 2 years, i know that she has been e-mailing a boy witch is better looking than me that goes to her college he`s the typical cool boy, unfortunatly im far bigger than him and will not let this go, the emails are about me she is putting me down infront of her friends to make herself sound nice, he says that he see my facebook profile and said she can do much better and she was saying that im a p***k because i cant move away to uni with her strait away, unfortunatly im far bigger than him and will not let this go, Im not sure what i should do, im letting it get to me and its making my bllod boil, i have troubles with my anger as it is, i dont mind her having friends but friends that flirt is a no no, and that is what he is doing i cant go and ask her about it because she doesnt know i know shes e-mailing and i know i shouldnt be snooping but in this world its hard to trust anyone even the one i love :/ please help need to chat about this to someone!
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female
reader, GeeGee255  +, writes (12 March 2011):
 Twice you wrote that you are bigger than him and will not let this go. That tells me two very important things, about you, maybe three.
1# You are a big guy that likes to use his fists to solve problems.
2# You are either immature or have a serious anger management problem.
3# Maybe you are a p---k.
Any of the above or all three combined could be the reason why your girl is chatting with someone else. You have to ask yourself is this really about his looks?
But I can't say for sure only you can answer that. So tell me what kind of boyfriend are you? How do you treat her on a daily basis? How many times a week do you see her? How do you show her your love? When is the last time you took her out dancing? And how well are you doing in other areas of your life? A girl want the complete package you know...
And what do you think would happen if you did hit that guy? Maybe you would feel better for a minute but then you would probably get arrested and/or go to jail and then your girl would be free to do whatever she wants with him while you're locked away.
And of course that would also end your chances of moving to uni with her. Not to mention that it would not make her love you anymore, in fact she might hate you for it. So if you think about it, punching that guy in the face would end up hurting you more then him in the long run. yes?
So what should you do? Well for starters you need to realize that if things were really good between you and this girl she wouldn't be talking to some other guy. There has to be a crack for the sewage to squeeze in. So where is the crack?
First you have to look at yourself, have you been the best boyfriend you could be to her? What do you guys fight about the most? That should give you a hint.
Or maybe it's not you, maybe your girl is the crack? Maybe she is not the person you thought she was. When did she change towards you? Why did she change?
Maybe things were fine until she went away to school. If so then it is not really anybodies fault. You need to face the facts son, not every relationship survives the college years. People grow and change while they are at uni. And sometime that pulls them in a new direction. The only thing you can do is enroll in uni yourself so you can learn to grow and change along side her. And not be left behind.
But that's still no guarrentee, nothing in life is. You just have to roll the dice and hope for the best sometimes.
Another thing you have to learn is that you don't always get what you want out of life. But that too can be a blessing in disguise. Maybe fate is telling you that this girl isn't for you, maybe the true love of your life is waiting for you down the road. Sometimes you just have to let people go, hope for the best, and have a little faith that all things happen for a reason.
I know it hurts, but that is part of growing up too, you have to learn to let go sometimes and work through the pain. Pain is how we learn and grow into the person we are meant to be.
I also believe that each relationship we have is given to us to teach us something we need to know to be ready for the next one. And fate will make you keep repeating that lesson until you learn it.
I wish you luck my friend. And trust that you will make the right choice, whether you stay with this girl or not.
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