A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I have an issue with my girl, as the title says she will give me oral all the time but we will not have sex. She will let me give her oral as well but nothing else.She just says she is not in the mood, and has been like this for over 8 months now, and i am getting more and more frustrated as we speak.I love her and will not give her up, but i would like to know, and everytime i ask it's because she is not in the mood.Any advice ladies or gents?Thanks
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female
reader, aunty_rach +, writes (15 October 2008):
well you do sound like a great guy and like i said before you obviously love her. but u have to ask yourself could u live without sex?
like i said the best thing to do is just talk to her, men need to talk about these things more with us girls, don't be worried, if anything it will show her that you care for her and are worried that something is bothering her. then once you know what the problem is you can work on it together.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni had a feeling that she was scared of getting pregnant and as much contraception we use she is still unsure because nothing is 100% safe.
we have had sex before during our relationship and something happened and she changed, it is a tough subject to come up with as i dont want to hurt her feelings.
ps, i enjoy oral sex and if she never wanted sex then i would still be with her as relationship is more than sex isnt it?
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A
female
reader, aunty_rach +, writes (14 October 2008):
you really do need to sit down with her and talk about it, but do not talk about it when you are about to get close together in the bedroom. could be a real mood killer for both of you. you seem like a great bf and you obviously love her. so i'm sure you can talk about it with her. maybe you need to spend more time on foreplay with her? it may be that penetrative sex hurts her, especially if she is worried about getting pregnant or is just not relaxed. so spending more time concentrating on her may help, such as kissing, hugging, touching,etc. if u do love her tell her how much u love her when u do get close. it may help her to relax. all you can do is talk to her and find out what she worrying her.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (14 October 2008):
 Perhaps she is saving herself for marriage but says she isn't in the mood so you don't think she's pressuring you to commit.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2008): I do agree with the other answers given, but there could be another reason. Maybe just maybe she does not enjoy sex. Depending on her age, and experience level, it could be painful for her. Not to say that you are doing anything wrong, but maybe she is expecting something different. I would definately talk to her about this, in a caring and loving way. Tell her how you feel, and see if you can come to some sort of agreement about your sex life.
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A
female
reader, Shpirty +, writes (14 October 2008):
Hi there,8 months is a very long time, I cant even believe that it is possible to find such a patient boyfriend like you are. Your girlfriend is very lucky to have you at first place. You haven't mentioned how old she is. She may be shy to admit having some problem, it's not easy to talk about sexual difficulties. Here are some options who she can talk to: mother, friend, doctor, counsellor or get advice on the internet, if it's not serious.Good luckps: remain patient and tolerant, it's nice
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (14 October 2008):
 I dont understand why she would give you oral but say that she is not in the mood for penetrative sex.... Is she perhaps afraid of falling pregnant? You need to sit down with her and discuss your concerns, but you must tell her how much you love her and value your relationship, this is why you need to get an honest answer from her.
Honeygirl
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