A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi all,Would like peoples views on the following.My friend is in a situation wher his girlfriend has left him out the blue for a friend of her's, myself and other friends of his think that she has just done it without giving it any thought as everything was fine 10hrs ago between them and the past week's, they have not argued and she was talking about the next few months with him etc in a positive way, she just seems to have gotten funny about another girl chatting him up?Would like to know your views: Do you think it's not healthy to go on jumping from one relationship to another and do you think it will last? As a few friends are having a debate.As we are all abit mixed up on what to tell our friend and we have not been in a situation like this, personaly I have told him to move on and he will meet someone special, after what she has done why would he want her back?Thanks all
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMy friend did not have an arguement with her and was looking forward to christmas etc with her and they had both been talking about the next few months all was good?
She just decided to go with her friend, and we all think it is because he was her only good friend she had and he started seeing another girl so she got scared and paranoid and thought she was going to loose her only good friend so to keep hold of him she left our friend and went out with him not thinking about the fact they will not last and she is going to end up with no one because of it.
It is her problem as she has created this whole situation and unfortunatly her friend/new boyfriend has never been out with anyone before so he cant see the whole picture,
also her family really dont like the guy.
Anyway its her problem not my friends and he is moving on with his life, really appreciate the feed back.
Thanks
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2011): Some people enjoy being treated bad. He might even get off on it. Unlikely I know, but he is a grown man and will do what he wants. If he wont listen then he will at least one day see you as a real friend when she makes her next decision. The way this happened, she is someone who acts before they think and that is normally done by children. In adults, it's normally done by cheating partners who can think but dont want to, unless they're caught of course. He will learn if this is the full story. If he was a drunk bully, woman beater, then it would be understandable. It seems your friend is under the spell of an undesirable female. Most guys would be glad to see the back of her, I know.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your messages been a great help.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2011): sometimes its easy to make up your mind without seeing the true reason about what makes some argue,and the chances are he saw a lot more than she revealed about herself to all around them. sounds very much like he could have been given a very bad time and to everyone else looked like he was enjoying causing arguments. at least you are real friend,eventually she will be back in contact with him when the latest one starts to reject her treatment.she will then switch her memory to remember the good times and is likely to see him as a softy. she is nt going to suddenly be any different with that new one.get him out in the hope he meets someone as he may think that woman is a normal one and convinced him he will never get better. when she wants to jump back sh`s going to tell him she loves him and they are meant to be together and until he meets someone normal,he wont know any different.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2011): i can see why too. sometimes people learn the hard way. i wouldnt ever want to be with that type either. it may be better to talk sense and ask him what he would call a woman like her if he saw it happen elsewhere. it could be he hasnt realised yet.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2011): I am a female who did like her. I also cheated a few times. After 9 months I now have become more aware of myself and find it more difficult accepting the man I want to be with still has not come back and is happyier without me in his life. He wont even answer to my texts.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2011): Point out to him that she jumped in another bed witout any thought for anything and he would be better realising it now,as it doesnt seem he has yet. It makes you question what else she has done without any thought. He will do what he wants,but its likely he`s going to wake up and see what type she is when its too late. Be there,and dont say told you so. We do have to learn by our own mistakes,and he will. Its likeley she has been secretly seeing this guy before this. Whatever,nothings looking like she`s got the making of a good future partner. She`s likely to have cheated,and they argued and its not like she`s going to tell the truth about the cause or may even blame him.This isnt something he should be wasting his life with,he will learn in his own time.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (22 January 2011):
I don't think it's healthy at all for people to go from one relationship straight to another. And from what I've seen, most of them do go on to break down.
And you're right to tell him to move on. This girl made a quick decision, in which case she might make quick decisions again. Or she was planning this for some time and possibly cheating. So your friend would be better to cut her out and just get away from her, as either way she'd probably hurt him again.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2011): he will only do what he wants to do. just be there for him when it all goes wrong again. she dont think that much of him and see why you feel concern.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2011): Jumping from one to the other like that so quickly sounds like she was with very shallow and never felt the much about him to start with. I have no idea why he wants her back unless he thinks he wont meet anyone else. I think if you loves someone then they jump straight into another relationship its time to try and unlove them as it shows her true character. If he goes back he is a jerk.
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A
female
reader, PatientlyWaiting1  +, writes (22 January 2011):
It sounds like she could have been cheating for a while and finally made up her mind to go with the other guy. It probably seems out of the blue to your friend but not necessarily to her. Who knows, the relationship may or may not work. If he wants her back he needs to wait for her to contact him...more likely than not she will.
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