A
male
age
36-40,
*hilipITM86
writes:Well my Long Distance Girlfriend in Chicago broke up with me cause she says im basically go good for her. She has depression and low self esteem issues. She basically apoligized for blowing up on me and dumping me via txt message and was saying that that has happend to her before and she said she would never do that to anybody. She then says that she has a lot of issues right now and doesnt think its fair to me to drag me into her issues. She then says that shes sorry she wasted a year of my life and that she would like to remain friends. We made eachother sooo happy this past year and i was gonna be moving up there in 2 months before she got mad at me and didnt talk to me for a week. I just wanna work things out with her and still be with her. We love eachother. I dont get why she would wanna just throw away a year and being happy together when i was always there for her and still am there for her. I think part of the problem is she feels bad about her weight. Shes heavy set but i always told her i Love her for who she is on the inside. I complemented her alot. I really love her and i know she feels the same about me. I think it might be a good idea if i were to fly up there in the next few days. Would that be a good idea? It might make a difference if she sees me. I just really love her and care for her and wanna be with her.
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broke up, long distance, self esteem Reply to this Question
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male
reader, PhilipITM86 +, writes (4 June 2012):
PhilipITM86 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah we are gonna talk tonight and im gonna try my best to convince her that i have and always will be there for her. I hope we have a very long chat tonight. It will do us some good.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2012): Perhaps you should attempt to have a long chat with her to convince her she can rely on you to build her trust around, but if that doesn't work and she has made her mind up then there may not be much more you can do about it.
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A
male
reader, PhilipITM86 +, writes (4 June 2012):
PhilipITM86 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo has nothing to do with her meeting me for the 1st time. I have allready been there 5 times and she came here once. Granted she woulda came more but her job couldnt permit that. Im gonna try to fly up there. I do have to work but im gonna try something. I think a part of the reason is im the 1st guy to really treat her great. Maybe its hard for her to accept that she has somebody so good in her life.
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A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify  +, writes (4 June 2012):
 sounds like she is pushing you away before you move up there. i would book a ticket and see her face to face to see if i could turn her self defeating attitude around.
can you afford that? go with your gut on this one and make the effort to see her in real life, then if she blows you off at least you know there was no giving up on your side.
some people like to destroy the good things they have going on as a form of self punishment related to depression and its sounds like that is what she is doing.
make the effort and go and see her if you can
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2012): Well you have nothing to lose by visiting her but perhaps it all to gain. If it is just self confidence issues with her and not some sick twisted game she plays with guys up until a certain point before blowing them out of the water, then maybe bringing the meeting date forward and having the chance to show her you mean every genuine word you say will make a big difference to her and set her mind at ease. It could be the case that all the talk of the eventual meeting point has just given her TOO much time to worry that you will not like her in person and for her to back out. Maybe don't tell her you are planning this visit because she will just ignore all your contact efforts and will be nowhere in sight when it comes to locating her because her nerves will be running riot and get the better of her. Just surprise her (hopefully pleasantly in her eyes) lol. On the other hand, I have had two long distance relationships, one of which the girl finished the relationship after about 5 months just before the meeting date (blamed it on nerves but had done it to one other guy previously) and the other we were together for about four months, we met twice within that time (as she was slightly closer than the other) and after the second meeting she ended it with the excuse that the distance was too much for her (but I found out almost straight after she finished with me she was already arranging another long distance relationship with any other random guy who fell interested). So just be cautious, she may be a time waster like the two individuals I had the unfortunate fate of getting involved with.
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