A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So I was hanging out with my girlfriend of a couple of years watching some TV. She asked me to give her a massage. This is kind of a turn on for me, I admit. She pointed out something on TV, I wasnt' paying attention so I leaned forward. When I did so, my penis touched her and I had an erection. We were both fully clothed.This totally freaked her out. Ruined the rest of the evening and she is now extremely pissed at me. She says that I don't have a right to be rubbing all over her and that it's no excuse that I didn't intend to do so. She was on the verge of breaking down in tears and would not come close to me. I'm sure I will be beaten up over this for weeks/months to come.Some background, we are in our mid twenties. We started off having a very good sex life which has drastically dwindled over time. We are both pretty busy people which is part of the reason.She has made me feel *extremely* bad over this. I don't want her to feel like I am using her. She's making me feel like some sort of sex maniac over this. Am I? What's going on?
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erection, my penis, sex life Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2010): Man it sounds like she so badly wants to be close but theres a different kind of intimacy that a woman needs and I dont have to read through the forward of the book, im sure we all know. Theres so much that she needs to share and you my man are just ready to go seemingly insensitive to her needs. Her getting upset as she did was not illogical, it's in proportion to something.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2010): She sounds weird, to be honest. Her reaction was completely hysterical and irrational under the circumstances. If she wasn't such a long-term thing, I'd recommend dumping her, but even if you two do stay together, something clearly isn't right in your relationship and needs fixing - fast!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2010): Something must be seriously wrong with her. Try to get to the bottom of this and explain to her that your penis is a natural part of your body and that it touching her accidentally is not worse than her breast pressing against you when you hug or cuddle. Or even the touch of your arms around her on the couch. Its your body. She must sart getting comfortable with your body in contact with hers. I don't understand her reaction at all.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (17 February 2010):
There are serious issues in your relationship if your sex life has dwindled and she is making you feel bad over this. It's hardly surprising that you had an erection if you were turned on by her. I think more than anything you both need to sit down and really talk about where this relationship is going. It sounds like it needs a lot of work. Especially if she is going to hold this against you for a long time. I would sit down and ask her to open up about the relationship and where she sees it going. And listen to her. You're not a sex maniac at all. And for her to say that you have no right to be rubbing her all over and to do what you did is frankly worrying given that she is supposed to love you. This isn't a relationship that's been going for a few months. This is something that has been going for a few years. Get her to open up and find out what she wants from this relationship.
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