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She can't see that sex is love for me

Tagged as: Family, Marriage problems, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 January 2008) 2 Answers - (Newest, 26 January 2008)
A male Cyprus age , anonymous writes:

hi I'm 54 my wife is 34 we have 3 kids in the beginning we had the best sex i ever had i love her so much it hearts dont work i have money look after kids all day we don't sleep together we have sex 4/5 times a year she dont touch me just says put it IN don't enjoy it but some times do it because I'm frustrated most of the time she says see still loves me but i just want her for sex i don't want sex i want some one to love me do i end this relashionship before my life is over but i love my kids any help i don't no what to do

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A male reader, rcn United States +, writes (26 January 2008):

rcn agony auntEnding it for sexual differences would not be upstanding for your children. Sex, in a marriage has so many different areas. You have the act, you have the love that's included with the act. Sex in a marraige is also about making the other person feel good.

I think you are in a rutt. It's not a sexual based rutt, but it needs looked at. If someone is just saying put it in, there is something else going on there than the sex itsself. What is making her feel as if sex is a chore? Somehow she's not feeling as special as she should. What makes her really feel loved? I'd ask her. There is only a few ways people really feel loved. Their given a gift, their taken somewhere special, their told it a certain way, or their touched in a certain way. Once you find what really makes her feel loved, just keep repeating and she won't go a day without that special feeling.

They proved this at a conference. The lady way asked to come on stage, and was asked how she really feels loved. She liked to be hugged a certain way. The speaker had she show him, and asked permission from the husband, he hugged her in the way she said, and she all but melted in his arms.

The problem we face is at the beginning, we touch on all the different ways, but as time goes on the being decreasing and we end up showing them we love them as we ourselves would feel loved, even if their way is the complete opposite.

I hope this helps you.

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A male reader, Moviefan United States +, writes (26 January 2008):

Moviefan agony auntTell her what you told us that you dont just want sex and that you want to still share effection with her. You have to tell people stuff like this sometimes for them to realize it. She probably thinks this for some reason.

And maybe suprise her by buying her a nice gift or let her take control during the sex, or do something that you did when you were younger that she would remember something romantic basically.

Good luck.

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