A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm confused at what the girl i'm dating told me yesterday, I don't judge her for it and never would but it doesn't make sense judging by her actions and the things she says that she is.She's very affectionate and feely with me, she'll roam her hands around my body that it turns me on so much. She sometimes hints at sexual things and uses innuendoes about us that it makes me laugh she thinks of these things, not to mention she'll say things like how she wants me, and how turned on she is at times. I'm not saying she does these things all the time just every so often, but I got the impression she's quite sexual and in fact, she's great with her hands and a hell of a kisser!But she told me yesterday that she's never had sex, she said that she's had many opportunities but never found the right guy that she felt comfortable with to. She was worried I was going to be turned off and not want to carry on seeing her. But in fact, can anybody tell me why it made me more attracted to her? I liked her already so much and want her to be my girlfriend, but as soon as she told me this my attraction to her was stronger? I only ask because i love experienced girls, so to hear she wasn't at all and my attraction grow was surprising for me.But the main question i'm confused at, is how is it she comes across sexual and seems experienced when in fact she isn't at all?! I was so surprised, she is incredibly beautiful it's unreal and the way she is with me is very hot. I didn't expect she had slept with lots of guys, but I didn't think it was none. I thought maybe it comes naturally to her without experience, but then I think she seems too good without any experience..
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female
reader, Annonymous..  +, writes (28 May 2014):
 Hopefully this helps. I am 17 i am still a virgin, But yet i do know how to turn on many guys. i attract many men. i am a thick girl who works out i take care of my body. i believe that the guy gets turned on by me. just knowing i am a virgin and they would love to be my first. but i have done a couple stuff. But many girls just know what sparks up the guy. You should be really happy that she is still a virgin and she can turn you on. she will just make the relationship alot stronger. knowing that you will be the only guy shes been with. No one else would be able to brag about her but you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2014): "I don't want to judge her but it doesn't make sense judging by her actions"....? Big contradiction there.
A virgin can still have seen porn or seen basic movies where it just shows passion. Even without porn or masturbation, when you're aroused, I guess you'd just go with the flow and be "in the moment".
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A
male
reader, Mark1978  +, writes (26 May 2014):
 To answer your first question, as to why you would be turned on by her virgin status, lots of men are aroused by the thought of being the one who gives a gorgeous, sexy woman her first experience. Knowing that a hot, flirty woman who is very sexual and a great kisser wants her first time with you is very flattering. Plus some men are turned on by the fact that they will be the only one (at that time at least) to have sex with this woman they find highly desirable. Some men are aroused by the thought of a tight virgin vagina stimulating their penis or by the fact that the woman involved will be experiencing a penis inside them for the first time with that particular man.
Perhaps your previous partners, who were experienced, were more of a sexual relationship than based on feelings and commitment? If so then maybe her virgin status, her openness and your natural attraction has meant you see her differently? Someone different and more of an emotional connection who you are more likely to want to allow to be closer to you emotionally?
You are experiencing a growing attraction, one that has flourished up till this point and hopefully will continue to do so. There is a strong emotional pull. Maybe your previous relationships were based more on instant physical attraction.
AS to whether she is actually a virgin, well only she can answer that.
Being a virgin is somewhat vague in that some people class themselves as a virgin but have given (or received) oral sex, hand jobs, etc. Even if she has done non of those things she may well be a naturally sensual person. If she is naturally aroused by you and clicks with you then she will let her instincts guide her.
Mark
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (26 May 2014):
 Op, she might be much more experienced than you'd think. Sex is not just vaginal penetration. For instance, there are cultures where not guarding your verginity till marriage is simply unthinkable, and yet, if you'd think all those virgins know nothing about sex, you'd be mistaken. Simply, they do " everything but ". Everything and anything that would not risk to leave a visible "mark " ( a broken hymen ).
And, of course, sensuality is not the same as sexuality. One can be a highly sensual person, highly receptive to sensual stimulations ( touch, words, smells.. ) and never have had intercourse. Intercourse comes from a conscious decision, being sensual is a trait of personality.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice + ♥, writes (26 May 2014):
 can anybody tell me why it made me more attracted to her? I liked her already so much and want her to be my girlfriend, but as soon as she told me this my attraction to her was stronger?
Simple,she shared a secret with you. That is an intimacy. The intimacy has built a bond between you. You should find a way to reciprocate. Perhaps share a favorite place or a dream or ambition.
Congratulations, it looks like you are on the way to strong relationship. Don't mess it up by pushing too fast.
FA
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (26 May 2014):
 Our culture is very highly sexualized, and she may be a virgin, but there are a lot of things that are sexual that don't involve intercourse.
She may just be a sexualized person, which isn't at odds with being a virgin. Virgin doesn't necessarily mean blushing prude. My best friend in high school was sexual as well as being a V. She just wanted to and couldn't wait to do it, but she wanted to be with the right guy and not some player, so she was very picky.
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