A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am 26 been saving my virginity for the right guy who has yet to make an appearance in my life. Now it's got to a point where I just really want to have sex. I feel like I am missing out on something great. Should I wait or just go for it with a one night stand?help please!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Oregongrl1 +, writes (4 June 2010):
Oh goodness honey,
Only you can answer that question!
GOOD LUCK!
A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (4 June 2010):
Ms "Female Reader", it may be helpful to read some other recent threads;
"Should I just get it over with and lose my virginity?" at http://www.dearcupid.org/question/should-i-just-get-it-over-with-an4.html
"Do you regret losing your virginity?" at http://www.dearcupid.org/question/do-you-regret-losing-your-virginity.html
"Is the loss of my virginity a big deal?" at http://www.dearcupid.org/question/is-the-loss-of-my-virginity-a-big.html
"Will sex hurt the first time?" at http://www.dearcupid.org/question/will-sex-hurt-the-first-time.html
"Need answers on first time sex!" at http://www.dearcupid.org/question/need-answers-on-first-time-sex.html
"I'm 22, still a virgin, never had a boyfriend yet. Is that a turnoff for guys?" at http://www.dearcupid.org/question/im-22-still-a-virgin-never-had-a.html
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2010): Hey everyone, I am the OP. Thanks for all the replies. I think you guys just helped me get back on track. I was just feeling left out of the Sex Club. Everyone I know has had sex, everyone I know has had sex with multiple partners and I was just feeling like I something was wrong. Plus I think I just wanted to have sex. I'll keep waiting for the right guy. I dont mention to the guys I am dating that I am a virgin FAR too embarrassing. lol
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A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (3 June 2010):
That doesn't sound like a good idea to me.
It's obvious that sex is something you respect, and it means something to you. Taking a random or anonymous partner is likely to make you feel like you have betrayed your personal convictions. You may not be with HIM for very long, but you'll be living with YOU for quite a while.
Yes, sex IS something great - but the mental and emotional elements contribute at least as much as the physical experience to make it great. At best, your fling might satisfy an intellectual curiosity - but it won't provide an opportunity to explore the wide range of sexual experiences that regular, long-term partners can enjoy.
Neither of you will have an emotional connection, and in fact you'll probably find yourself working hard to suppress emotions.
Physiologically, the great majority of people - both men and women - find their first sexual experience embarrassing, fumbling, and clumsy. And, most women say that it includes great discomfort or even significant pain. I'm glad that my first experience was with a girl (also a virgin) who had spent several months with me, learning about each others' bodies and sexual response, before we attempted intercourse. (Though in defense of your idea, a knowledgeable, considerate, and experienced partner who knows your situation can minimize the discomfort of breaking your hymen and stretching your vagina open.)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2010): Sweetheart you have waited until you are 26, yes sex is great, but don't give it up on a one night stand, that just isn't the way to go.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2010): If this is something your dead set on doing don't do it with a one night stand. Don't you have any guy friends? Ex co worker? Your best friends don't know any guys? Your gonna need someone that will be gentle with you and take their time. You've waited all this time don't just give it up to just anybody.
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A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (3 June 2010):
 Save it for the right guy. It's hard, but it'll be worth it.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (3 June 2010):
If you lose it on a one night stand to a man who doesn't care about you at all, you'll regret it. One night stands are more selfish, and don't always play to a woman's advantage since a man will just get what he wants and make a run for it. You're better off continuing to try and find the right guy who will care about you.
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