A
female
age
30-35,
*aDeSlife
writes:hi im 14 and hav had a major crush on my science teacher for well over a year.at first i hated his guts -he looked at me consantly and said/did innapropriate things(winks;sexual remarks;touching), i always felt really uneasy.however one day during a test we were wispering to eachother and this really weird feeling came over me , he went bright red too. my freinds make it so obvious i like him and he doesnt hide the fact he knows.he flirts endlessly and teases me , we nearly kissed a few times but he pulls away at the last minute- i know this is jus a mind game and he is in total control but i cant help it.lots of people have said he is a perv and i relise this, he also is married and is 38 :S -not good!you may think the way i am talking that i understand everything about what i am doing but the thing is the sexual talk we have together is getting more common-we are on our own more as he drives me home, and i think something will happen.Im not going to stop this as my urge to have sex with him is now greater than the risk of consequences i could face. please tell me more factors to stop me being so stupid!!!!!thanks, jade
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2008): To tell you the truth, this isn't the way you want to expierence sex. Sex is something you need to wait till you as a person is older and make sure you are ready. You also need to approach another adult that is neutral, ie councilor(s), head master/mistress, another teacher that you trust and even the worse part of all you need to tell your parents. I know you don't want to tell your parents but that is your best defense. You really shouldn't be getting into a car alone with him not for one second no matter how much time you want to spend with him, that also misleads him. At 14 you can cross signals which you aren't fully aware that you are doing wrong and setting yourself up to be hurt and violated in the worst way. It's not suppose to be an adult man taking the innocence of a child, adults should protect the innocents of the child. He you and he should interact sexually of course that means you will have to go to the hospital and possibly do a rape kit which leads to having to go to court and testify against him. He WILL lose his job, family will spend time in prison and when he gets out he will have to register as a sex offender, offender being a minor under the age of 16....IF he makes it out of prison alive! Usually when a pedophile/sex offender of a child is placed in prison the other inmates will kill him! If he have any feelings towards this man of friendship or even to say you care about him please protect yourself first and while doing so protect him as well no matter if he loses his job....I'd rather see him unemployed than be killed. You have to take care of number one before anyone else hun. Do the right thing hun regardless of your feelings, you'll understand them more when your older and ready for sexual relationships and even the act of sex.
Hopefully you will us my advice, your too young to be emotionally scarred and damaged by this behavior of a sexually disrupted adult.
A
female
reader, JaDeSlife +, writes (28 November 2007):
JaDeSlife is verified as being by the original poster of the questionive been really busy doing coursework after school so i havent been getting the lift for the last few days. in class is the same as before.i know i should tell someone but at the moment i dont think i dare. i still really like him too :(
thnx so much i cnt stress enough how much i appreciate the comments!!!!:D
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2007): hi jade..
i can't say enough what others have already said to you, it's easy to have a crush on older guys and in your case a teacher, but it has to stay as a crush and go no further.
i'm not saying you are not mentally ready for relationships or even sex, but by encouraging this man, he is also in serious danger to himself. it would be gross misconduct on his part if he were to enter into a relationship with any pupil or minor (child under 16 years of age ) not only his career would be at risk but his freedom, he could be prosecuted for what he's doing and end up in prison. i know you are probably curious as to what sex is like, and most teenagers are having sex at an earlier age, but peer pressure from your friends isnt the right way to loose your virginity. you would probably regret it afterwards anyway, so wait for the right time and person to come into your life not someone who's taking advantage of you.
i would suggest that if you do have to speak to him, you tell him that it cannot go on any longer, that it is wrong and dangerous.
stick to walking home sweetheart.
take care
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2007): Jade, it's not just about you being 14. When I was 14 and people said 'you're a child--you're 14', I thought 'I'm not a child', but when you're 16, you'll look back and see how young 14 year olds are.
But it's not even the age thing. He is a man who, at first, made unwanted sexual advances on you. Freud would say you tried to take control of the situation by convincing yourself the advances were wanted, explaining your feelings for him now. It would be the same if you were 25 and he was 24, or any other age combination. The advances were unwanted and he's manipulating you.
This is coming from experience, so when I say 'Never get in a car with him, especially at night', I know what I'm talking about. Don't put yourself in that position. He obviously has a weak spot when it comes to you, and in a way, you're taking advantage of him. You're the victim, but at the same time you're the aggitator of a known problem he has. If something does happen... in all honesty, it's as much your fault as it is his. If he's not going to step up and be morally sound, being 14 is no excuse for you not to make proper judgement.
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A
female
reader, Kayleigh :) +, writes (19 November 2007):
 Dear Jade.Please tell another teacher about this man, he seems very dangerous. He is a pervert, he shouldn't be doing this to girls that are so young, its wrong. Yes you may like this science guy but he is teasing you, you need to tell someone before it goes too far. Please don't take it any further than what it has got to, because who knows what will happen later. You won't get blamed for this as you are only a child. He is married so its not a good idea sweetie. Yes students do sometimes have crushes on their teachers, but it shouldn't go any further than looking at him. He shouldn't be the one looking and winking at you, its wrong hunnie. Don't let this man take advantage of you. I don't want this to resort to rape, so please please please take my advice and tell another teacher or something. He will get fired and you will be safe. This man seems very dangerous. If anything happens to you it will be so bad, so please please tell someone and you will be safe.Hope this helped sweetie :)
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A
female
reader, AnnaW219 +, writes (18 November 2007):
 hi chick listen its may be hard to stop but dont give in to temptation hust simply move away from hium if he comes near you ignore him in everyway and ask your parents to come and get you because your teacher is some what busy in school and stuff you will soon get over him and make sure you try and consantrate at school so that if you do well you will move up and not have to face him again take this into mind if yopu want more answers message me good look hun xxx
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A
female
reader, JaDeSlife +, writes (18 November 2007):
JaDeSlife is verified as being by the original poster of the questionmy friends arent much help ive told them that i think things with him are going to go further but they dont seem to mind, infact my best mate and some of my closest friends are envious of me as they think he is "handsome and sexy"!
i know he is, but he is also old and my teacher.
when i need anymore help ill come on here rather than confide in them !
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A
female
reader, JaDeSlife +, writes (18 November 2007):
JaDeSlife is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWow good responses thanks!i have really taken them into account , they just enforced what i was worried about.dont qwite know what i will do next -monday is approaching and ive got him 1st lesson :S
as for the drive home i onli have it because its spending time with him ,most of the time it would be quicker walking!
my mum and dad dont actually know. they would kill me if they knew because when i hated my teacher i told them he was a perv.
thnx, jade x
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A
female
reader, hugs2muchgal  +, writes (17 November 2007):
 If you have sex with him you'll be a homewrecker.
He'll go to jail for rape.
Everyone at your school will make life for you hard.
He'll be fired.
You'll be known as "easy".
Your parents will be pissed as hell.
Your first time will be ruined.
Are those enough reasons?
Also, tell someone about this and stop flirting. You are 14, get a grip on your hormones. He is old, married, and your teacher. Why aren't your parents more concerned about a teacher with a bad rep driving their daughter home. Please, for your own safety and mental state, and for this teacher's life and career. Resist the urge and stay away from him.
Best of luck and if you want to talk more you can message me, I really do want the best for you,
Hugs
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A
female
reader, XxPrincessxLxX +, writes (17 November 2007):
 hey sweetie,
you really need to tell your head teacher! ino you really like him as we all have fancied a teacher but thats all it should be YOU who likes him not the other way round..you are only 14! seroiusly hun do not take it any further because it will have a horrible ending
i hope i have helpt
xxxxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2007): This man's behaviour is completely inappropriate and he is not a good advert for teaching.
Does he give you a lift home because you have no alternative means of getting home? If there is another option I'd suggest you use it from now on. Avoid being alone with him, he is your teacher and should know better than to allow himself to be placed in a position where something can happen.
Please don't allow this man to take advantage of you.
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