A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi. I'm 36 weeks pregnant with my second baby with my partner along almost 4 years. The baby was planned and everything is going well apart from our sex life. Ever since I was about 12 week's pregnant the sex has been off and on. To begin with he would say he was tired and would just fall asleep. When we would have sex it would be mostly that he would rub me for a few minutes and then have sex. Now it's the baby. In around 6 months he has probably done oral on me about 3-4 times. He would using his fingers to being with but a while ago he stopped and when I asked why he said it was because of the baby...? I told him that as he doesn't go down on me, how dose he expects me to be satisfied and that just sex dose bot feel good unless I am turned on. He since then has tried but the last couple of weeks I have had to ask or hint. On Friday the did finger me but had to stop as my daughter woke (right as I was about to cum) he said he would finish me last, that it would be better. He didn't. The following day he did it again this time he just stopped and said he needed the toilet! Again he didn't finish me off.... I seem like he doesn't want me. I miss the intimacy between us. We do cuddle and sometimes kiss (I think, he think is we kiss I will come on to him so he avoids it.. I may be wrong but that's how I feel)He was never like that with my first we was having sex the day before I gave birth! Am I over reacting. Do I just carry on and see with it like after the baby.
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male
reader, M Proops +, writes (11 December 2013):
I just didn't want sex with my wife during pregnancy,i was not turned on at all but I was close to her in bed and lots of cuddling and embracing.Kids are 28 and 27 now and were still together.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (10 December 2013):
 There can be many reason and none of them is about you being less attractive.
Stress from the fact that he is bringing in another human being. Having a baby is not cheap, having another child is expensive.
Having seen what YOU went through the first time around. And know that he "caused" that pain (even if it really was a join effort, but you get the drift).
And the whole, YOUR body is not really "his" for a while. He might not consider this out loud, but it might be a factor.
You only have a few more weeks to go, relax about the sex and focus on the eminent event of giving birth to your child.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (10 December 2013):
 Ohhh that does not bode well if he's talking about "fault" and he wasn't there during the birth. If I were you, I'd be keeping tabs on him, because that's possible cheating behavior.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2013): I am the original poster.
I understand but I never 'gave birth' I didn't even have a contraction. I was rushed in for am emergency c-section. He was never in the room. Also when we could have sex after our first he was up for it more then before.
Our relationship has always had issue when it's comes to sex. Also I can sit and have an adult convocation as he is such a man. When ever I bring it up he tells me it is ny fault (last time he said I need to literally say to him "I want sex") or have a huge row. I don't want to argue anymore. I have not got the energy, I just want the intimacy back.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (10 December 2013):
I think I know what it could be. The first time you were pregnant with your first child, he hadn't seen you in the act of giving birth. Now he has the memory of seeing the baby emerge from your body...
(DISCLAIMER: This next bit contains graphic childbirth - viewer discretion is advised! :) )
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He saw you possibly getting an episiotomy or tearing and bleeding. He might have seen you having a bowel movement at the beginning of the pushing. He certainly saw lots of fluids, a massive widening of the vagina, a squirmy baby covered in blood, maybe meconium, maybe that cheesy looking stuff, the placenta and cutting the cord. Childbirth is a wonderful thing, but it's also the most violent bodily function.
He may be dealing with images of ripping, cutting, blood, everything that he didn't have before. He may have been moved with the birth of your first baby, but many guys also simultaneously get traumatized at the birthing itself. I saw a video in 10th grade health and *I* was traumatized as hell, vowing NEVER to allow myself to have a kid and go through THAT!
He also may consider now that your body is the baby's and not his anymore. I've heard of that, though it usually involves breastfeeding and issues with someone else (I know! irrational!) having a higher claim to them.
The only way to know is to have a long talk about it, and if he's hedging, maybe involving a third party such as a therapist, counselor, pastor, would be a good idea as well, because he may not want to hurt your feelings and may feel ashamed that he feels that way in the first place.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (10 December 2013):
 Most men are not comfortable having sex with their pregnant partner and for most couples, it's quite normal to put the sex 'on hold' until the baby is born.
You seem to have a high sex drive and also relate the lack of sexual contact directly to how you think he feels about you...I think this is misguided.
Ok so you had full sex until the birth of your last child, but maybe he isn't as comfortable with it this time...so cut him a little slack.
I am sure everything will be fine after the baby is born.
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