A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ive been with my boyfriend 4 years now im so very happy with him but unfortunately he studies abroad and i don't see him for up to 6 months at a time then when i do its only for a month. But every-time i have sex with him it always hurts even if we have lots of foreplay.we didnt have sex untill a year into our relationship when we did it was very painful so we didnt have sex again untill after he moved abroad for his education. i thought maybe its because of the long period of no sex so,Ive got my self a small jellytype realistic dildo toy to try help loosen myself up but even using that hurts me very badly and this is when im fully relaxed using it on myself.I find that the opening of my vagina is very sore and feels like its being rubbed raw, also my inside can feel the ridge of the dildo and it feels like im being scrapped inside the same happens during sex.when we do have sex i have to be on top and slowly lower myself onto him and then take his penis out and repeat until it feels slightly comfortablethis is frustrating and upsetting because it feels like we cant be spontaneous or enjoy that ravishing type of sex we both really want to experience after not seeing each other so longwhat could be my problem i really want to enjoy sex. i also feel so bad for my partner he's been so patient and caring but he recently told me he prefers to just masturbate as its easier and faster and he's scared of hurting me so much and seeing me in pain its getting harder for him to get hard for sex.please help.
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dildo, foreplay, period, vagina Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, person12345  +, writes (10 October 2010):
 You really need to go see a doctor. There's a condition some women have that basically results in their vagina clenching up in a very painful way preventing them from having sex, sometimes even preventing them from using tampons it can be so extreme. Sex should never hurt, so if it does you need to go see a doctor.
A
male
reader, slimfish  +, writes (10 October 2010):
 first,see a doctor about this. sex dos'nt have to be painful, just the opposite.
i suspect that when your hymen tore during your first time it created a tear that has scared when healing, and this may be causing you pain.
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A
female
reader, AuntyAlexxmo +, writes (10 October 2010):
 Well it says something about your boyfriend, that he cares about hurting you and is understanding about the situation. This is just a suggestion, but have you tried using lubrication, as it sounds like you may have an issue with dryness but that is just an idea. I would suggest going to you doctors, ask for a female doctor if it will help you talk, to talk about this as it may be a common issue that can be solved or improved, i hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, followtheblackrabbit  +, writes (10 October 2010):
 Have you tried seeing a doctor about this? What you're describing sounds like a medical condition I've read about...a condition which has kept a lot of women virgins because it's so painful. See a doctor, they can give you so much more insight on this. Cause if you have tried foreplay, lubrication, various positions etc. and nothing has worked, it's time to consult an expert. Best of luck!
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