A
female
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*rizzylizzy
writes:I met this guy a few weeks ago while I was away on a hen. We clicked instantly and he came to visit me in Ireland at the weekend..He is 32 and I am 37 The first few days were amazing. We got on brilliantly. On Saturday we went out all day drinking (stupid I know), stayed out for the night, then I stupidly got jealous because he was dancing with some girls, said some mean things which I cant remember. The next day we woke up, I apologized, actually I cried my eyes out and begged him to apologise. He just said he wanted to go home. I dropped him to the bus. I contuined to desperately apolgise to him as this was out of character of me and I clearly cannot drink like that. He said yesterday that he was gutted, that I wasn't the person he thought I was and he didn't know if I should go over in a few weeks time because I am not the person he thought I was. I again pleaded with him apologizing and in the end I just said if you don't want me to come let me know and I will cancel my flight. I haven't heard a word from him since. I am now in limbo, devastated I have hurt him and giving him a bad impression of me. Is there anymore I can do now? I messaged him last night and said I missed him and did he genuinely want it over and for me to cancel my flight. his response was one word "yea" and I haven't heard another word since. His feelings were so strong for me how can they just disappear after 1 drunken row in which I totally owned up to it being my fault!!
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female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (17 October 2013):
 I'm not a night club person but based on what I've read and heard about how people behave at them, I'm inclined to think this guy should have erred on the side of caution and not danced with other women.
However, I also think your reaction was way over the top and your desperate, emotional and oft repeated apologies have made things worse. As far as this guy is concerned you're unstable and clearly can't handle your liquor.
I'm afraid the damage is done and the best thing you can do for yourself is move on. You've only been chatting for a few weeks so while it is a humiliating disappointment, there isn't (or shouldn't be) a huge investment here. Write this one off and consider it lesson learned.
Now pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move forward.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2013): Ok I have been in a similar situation, been horribly drunk and actually told the then boyfriend that his kids were backwards and disgusting revolting baggage! Not much you can do here other than let him calm down and put time between you. My boyfriend would have nothing to go with me for weeks and I apologized over and over and really could apologize no more so in the end I stopped. Eventually when I had stopped texting and making a pain of myself he got back in contact with me. My advice would be to cancel the flights and apologize one last time, tell him you have cancelled the flights then leave it at that. We all get horribly drunk at times through stress, tiredness, excitement etc and he should be able to get over this. Has he never been drunk at 32? Cancel your flights and leave him well alone for now.
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (9 October 2013):
 First of all, stop feeling bad *right* now.
Second, if his feelings were "so strong" for you, then why was he dancing with other girls right in front of you? Being jealous isn't a bad thing when you see evidence of his being a player right in front of you. For him to be "gutted" because you said some mean things after seeing him do stuff like that is full of crap. That's like if he punched you hard in the face and then got mad because you flinched and cried out.
A Long Distance Relationship wouldn't work between you anyways, best to go easy on yourself, cut your losses, and move on with your life. The guy sounds like a dog.
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