A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi all i was wondering what is everyone's views on a guy proposing twice. should he do it?to be more exact there is this girl whom i dated for a month and we got really close. as a matter of fact you would have sworn she was more into me than i was into her. we called texted fb each other everyday. until one day i proposed for her to be my girlfriend. i nervously expected a yes but then she hesitated, (which is never a good sign i have learned) she said that she would need a day or two to think about it. she never got back to me on it, our communication started to decline rapidly, until we never communicated any-more, and you can't imagine how downhearted i was feeling and thinking to myself if it something was wrong with me. well you know how these things go; i went into a depression for a couple months but i eventually got out of it. i wasn't sure how she was doing, i hadn't seen her since. until...one day i met her down-town she gave me a little hug i asked how she was doing. then a week later she started texting. i did respond and very soon we started communicating AGAIN. apparently she doesnt have a boyfriend. we joke alot and stuff but we never seem to resuface on the topic of: "why she didn't want to be in a relationship with me"clearly i am still attracted to her and she seems (again) like she is interested in me calling and texting often. but should i be the one to ask her again.i mean to get turned down once is bad enough but twice by the same girl in the same year; thats quite a feat. my first thoughts on this is i don't think i should ask her but then again im the guy. and im not the type who just like to sit on the fence and waste time. Because i may well be missing out on another girl. So i need help my friends what should i do should i wait for her to ask me or should i ask her?your opinion is really valued here thanks.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question@ Fatherly advice
first of all let me just say thanks for your advice. it seems so great to get some from a father figure on this site (no bias intended ladies.
As to your advice i think you are right when you said i asked to early. The reason i did that is because i thought it was important to have it official. in other words i did not want her to be thinkin "why isn't he asking me". supposing one day someone walked up to us and said "hi are you boyfriend and girlfriend"? what are we supposed to do the? watch each other awkwardly and say no.
so if you catch my drift what i am saying is that i just wanted it official. nothing would have changed we would have still gone out.
@Blod; thanks for your advice
what you said about the friend zone i pray isn't true because i think it is wrong for a girl to have a guy in the friend zone if she have no intentions of being in a serious relationship with him. it just dampens his chances of getting other girls because they constantly think they're together.
However how do i approach her in finding out why she rejected me in the first place do you have any idea to help?
I was actually thinking of doing it like this: 1.) asking her what are to each other are we just friends? then wait for her response. then continue asking her how she sees us in future etc. you know... along these lines.
what do you think?
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice + ♥, writes (13 July 2011):
 That was an interesting story, thanks!
Let me give you the old man's take on your tale of woe. You asked too soon. A w1se man would wait until he was sure of the answer before he asks. The second part of that is that he would be doing nice things to win her over. Things like taking her out on real dates and buying her flowers and gifts. Then after three months of this try again. Heck, by then you shouldn't have to ask.
I liked your title. I feel that men are too afraid to make a fool of them selves. One of the reasons that Dogs are men's best friends is that when you make a fool of yourself with a dog, they don't look down on you, in fact they will join in and make a fool of themselves just to be with you.
Go ahead and ask the women here how much they care about your pride / image. I think they would like a guy who would go out on a limb for them.
FA
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A
female
reader, Blod  +, writes (13 July 2011):
 I don't think you should ask her to be your girlfriend again just yet. You were clearly hurt when she rejected you the first time so naturally you're more cautious about asking her again, which is best I think.
Before you do anything, you need to find out why she rejected you the first time. If you can find out why, it'd give you a good idea whether you should ask her again or not. She might just see you as a friend. It's hard to tell by what you said, and you can't be sure unless you ask. Don't ask her to be your girlfriend unless you're sure about it and confident that she'll say yes. It would be terrible if she rejected you again.
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A
male
reader, Leo Gallagher +, writes (13 July 2011):
Hey, I read your whole post. I would probably ask her why she didn't want to be in a relationship with you the first time around. It could be any number of reasons. Communicating questions with her, even questions that may put you in a vulnerable spot, will be important in a serious relationship. So you'll want to make sure you guys are able to communicate first before you ask her out again.
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A
female
reader, Tashie08 +, writes (13 July 2011):
No i wouldn't if i were you. Take it slowly, don't rush things. If you do you'll probably scare her off. taking things too seriously too quickly often leads to disaster. you've both got loads of time to take before you get to that stage
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A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (13 July 2011):
 What reasons did she give regarding not wanting to be your gf?
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