A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I deserve this - I recently (Aug) went through a traumatic seperation and lost alot of weight but had just started to get back on my feet.I started to chat to someone on the net, who lived local and was nice to talk to , made me laugh, said nice things etc.He wanted to meet me, but as he was married, i said no.He kept asking, then in a moment of stupidity and weakness i agreed.Wehad a drink and there was attraction. I know it was wrong. I got tangled in this affair. He told me he loved me, and i told him not to say that.I wanted someone to love me though. Then i found him on other sites, looking for other women and his chattiness and calls had got less. I said to him, i know you're no longer interested in me and he told me to grow up.I have deleted his number .I deserve how i feel now because i knew he was married and shouldn't have gone there. />i wish he hadn;t told me he loved me though because that is what i needed and weakened me.I know i am going to get shouted at on here doing what i did to another woman - his wife. but part of me thinks she must know or have an idea he is messing about. I wonder why I am so stupid and niaive?.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, pgissyd  +, writes (26 November 2007):
 Hunny, he was the scumbag not you and you DIDNT deserve to be treated like that.
ou need breathing room o grieve now, grieve for the loss of your marrage and grieve for the way this man treated you. His relationship with his wife is none of our concern, she DOES deserve to know, but in this case its not your job to tell her.
Accept yu have learned a valuable lesson, men say everything we want to hear, just to get us into bed, learn when to know if they are telling the truth or not.
Take time to be a single woman, find a good job if you dont already have one, take some hobbies or start working out. Enjoy not having a man to answer to for a while, DONT go running into another relationship yet.
One day the right guy will find you and things will be right and feel right, you will know in your heart when its the right time for you.
As I said, you need time to grieve and time to be single. Take that time now and put htis awful experiance behind you, but take all the lessons yo can from it.
xxxxxxxxxxxxx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2007): I would tell on his a$$ to his wife. Some guy tried to tell me to forget about something we did or not think about it, and I told his gf. Needless to say, she told him that if he did it again she'd kill him.
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A
female
reader, dearkelja  +, writes (26 November 2007):
 You made a mistake...what an amazing opportunity to learn from it. I am sure you have. Don't dwell on it, move forward. You've had your first encounter after your separation/divorce. That is a very hard step. I agree with Richard however, take a pause and think about what you want and know that you are in a very vulnerable position as you need affection, approval and love. Try to give it to yourself. Take Care of you.
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A
male
reader, Richard_EMids +, writes (26 November 2007):
 Hi there. No need to be so tough on yourself, it was him doing the cheating not you. You did it because you were vulnerable. Let's face it when we go through relationship trauma we go a little crazy (best not tell everyone though). The most important thing now is to focus on getting your emotions back together and your head straight. It's something many of us have done, including me, but really it is better to keep away from a relationship for a few months to let your emotions settle.
Hope you feel better by posting.
Take care, Richard
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