A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Please,please help meIts driving me mad me and my ex ahs been split for 3 months now, but still talk on the phone every day, anyway i gave him an xmas present on christmas eve, and he had bought me one, which he gave me last nite, anyway, last nite,we had a good evening, exchanged gifts and stuff then we started fighting as in play fighting, then things lead to the other and we ended up having sex there and then, it just felt really right as weve done it before since we split,so it wasnt the first, the thing is he's got this new gf that he's met through the internet but they haven't met as she lives in dublin and we live in london, as soon as we done it he went bk online to see if she was on but thank god she wasnt,The ? im asking is many of my friends say there is a connection still between us whenever we see each other we flirt, but i dont think we will get bk together, but my friends think he still loves me and thats why we still sleep toghether, and have contact, plus ive never bought any of my ex bf presents bf so i feel this is different, like lastnite i only rang him to get my present but ended up staying 5 hours and having a really good time Really what's going on, does it sound like there is still a conection between us?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2008): Wake up and smell the coffee! He's USING you. Why did you break up in the first place, anyway?
Don't you know that broken up means exactly that: the relationship is BROKEN, ended; history, IN THE PAST. Otherwise if it was working for you both, it wouldn't have ended, now would it? The point of ending something means that you both are free to date others, get on with your separate lives, and don't even think about trying to remain "friends" let alone friends with benefits - which is what he's got.
My recommendation would be to point out the front door to him, and tell him to walk out that door, and don't come back!
A
female
reader, 48years  +, writes (26 December 2008):
 Yes, there's a connection to his penis. I know the holidays are lonely if you let them be lonely. We must all learn to live in the present, and not be thinking about presents for exes.
Whatever broke you two up the first time will happen again, only twice as fast. Also, if you maintain contact, do you REALLY want to hear about his life? To congratulate him on his engagement?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2008): I think the connection is sex, you're still giving it up to him! That's a big no-no. You're not letting yourself move on. You need to move on, or sit and talk to him. Figure out where his head is.
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