A
male
age
41-50,
*sstateky
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for over a year. About 9 months ago I kissed a guy and we have talked about that. He likes to go on Internet chat rooms and talk to guys and mess around with them through chat. He has never cheated on me. However, I, on the otherhand have talked to guys as well and acted like I wanted to have sex with them... but I did not. See, we are both HIV positive men. I feel that I do this as a fantasy. I just do not want my bf to not want me or feel he can not trust me. He has seen some emails that I have sent to guys. I have acted like I was someone else to catch him in that act, but have not. Furthermore, I have seen emails where he has stated the guy get naked and stuff like that. I love him dearly. I know that I want to live with him for the rest of my life. I just feel like he does not trust me anymore. I want him to feel that. I have deleted everything. I am ready for a change in my life. He states that he just wants me to be honest. I understand that, I truelly do. I hope that it is not too late, eventhought he states that he loves me and wants me foreverl. I just do not want him to think that while he is at work, I am being shady. Please, any advice.
View related questions:
at work, chat room, cheated on me, hiv Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, guitar_hero_19  +, writes (13 May 2008):
well, firstly i would like you to understand that trust is a very difficult thing to gain in these situations. however it is possible. i see that both of you have in a way said things to other people that your both not proud of. just for abreviation purposes i'll call it "flirting without intention".
Now, reading what you wrote i get the feeling that you both have/are flirting without intention. this may mean that sub-conciously you are both unsure about the way things are in the relationship. To overcome this it requires strenth and time.
I'm going to tell you the easiest way to sort this out.
Firstly, both of you need to ditch the chat rooms/emails to other guys and any other form of possible flirting without intention.
look at it this way, you dont really need them. you have each other.
secondly, find new ways to express your love for each other. this will create a stronger bond between you both and help you both forget about the bad things youve both done.
and last but not least, create that unique bond between yourselves. find that eternal happiness, live for each other and make sure you try to eliminate any bad ora's in the relationship, simply because most of them can result in a broken relationship which can often be hard to fix.
However, if you both truly love each other then fixing things will come by so naturally and you'll both find it easy to do.
I hope ive been help to you both.
Good luck with your relationship.
I wish you and your partner all the best for the future.
Gav.
|
