A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Im 26 and 5 months pregnant by my ex. Not the most ideal situation to be in but fortunately we are still friends and he promised to support me. Well, until now. Im about to move out of my 1 bed flat (not allowed chidren) into a 2 bed little house. All the money from my wages has gone into saving for a deposit and 1 month rent plus estate agent fees (£1500). My ex has not helped with this, I asked him to and he said no. He did agree to pay half the money towards the new baby equipment. But lately, he has become very distant and not communicating with me. I know that his family are going through a hard time, a family member died over christmas and he seems to be the one that picks up the pieces for the rest of his family. He has not spoken to me about buying anything for the baby yet. Anyway, I text him yesterday just to say that I think we need to start thinking about buying things. He has not replied. Its like he shuts down when I start to talk about it. I think that this is very unfair for me. Im extremely worried that our baby wont have anything i.e pram and cot etc because I cant afford it on my own. My mum has offered to help but I dont think it should be down to her. My ex has a job he is capable of paying. So what do I do now? The thing is Im very hot tempered and I know that if I ponder around waiting for him to reply I will end up sending him a nasty text and we will fall out. Whats the best way to get around this? What do I do next?
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female
reader, Roadster73 +, writes (10 January 2010):
 Do you realise that despite the fact you work, u will be entitled to help from the goverment, I think u get some sort of grant from about 8 months, once the baby is born u will be able to claim child tax credits too, plus go to the csa and your ex will have to pay a huge chunk of his wages, tell him this now and say you would rather come to some mutal aggrement now and not go through the csa... That might make him buck up his ideas??
Contact your local social welfare office or call them (not nice I know but u should get what your entited too)
good luck, it will be all ok in the end
A
female
reader, meg2989  +, writes (10 January 2010):
 I agree with the last poster. You can even go get registered at a baby store, mark all the things you need on your registry, then when you've finnished you can get a print out of your registry list and send it to him by mail, if that would work out better. With the way this man is avoiding you, it almost sounds like its just sinking in that you are having a baby, sometimes it takes longer for men to cope with pregnancy. As where when a woman finds out she's pregnant she's usually in denial for maybe a week or less, then goes into baby mode and wants to prepare and be ready lol.
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A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (10 January 2010):
Men work better if you tell them exactly what you need them to do. Telling him WE need to buy baby THINGS is not specific enough. Give him a list that you would like him to buy. Better still, go to one of the baby centres or department stores and ask if they have a baby registry. Then you go there and select what you want him to get for he baby then he picks it up later. If you are struggling you can also ask your closest friend to throw a baby shower for you to help you out. I once threw a shower for a friend in an abandonment situation and my rule was that for anyone to enter the party, the ticket was a packet of diapers and she had enough for a whole year. You seem to be thinking that you should do this together with him since he is the father. He is not interested if he is ignoring you. So let him be the donor he wants to be. Send him a list or choose what you can't get and leave it with a baby registry. You can even do a baby registry online and not only your boyfriend but your friends can shop there buying things you already selected. You need to keep your stress levels low by avoiding people who provoke you like this guy. Focus on your baby and you can catch up with him later in maintenance court.
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