A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I think I may have caught my boyfriend lying to me and it really bothers me, even more than what he is lying about. We live together and have been together for about two years. At the beginning of the relationship he came out and told me he doesn't look at porn when he is in a relationship. He was also celibate for years before we met but during that time did look at porn. Now, for me porn is an issue. I know a lot of people don't understand that but it was a big problem in my last relationship. And the fact that my current boyfriend brought it up independently was a huge relief to me. Well fastforward about a year and one day we are having a big fight. I was downstairs and went upstairs to hopefully talk some things through. Well he is facing away from the door so I catch the title of the download he is looking at on a torrent site. He exits out before I get a better look. He swears up and down that it was a pop up but I've been on that site plenty of times and that's not how it works. Then last night, we are having another fight. Same thing, except this time he's in the living room. I come out of the bedroom and there is a picture Of an ass right on the screen. He realizes I'm there and exits out. I get really mad this time because it's the second time I've caught him. And he tells me again it's a pop up. Then he goes on to tell me that whenever I come around and he is looking at anything that might even resemble porn, he said like if his friends send him pictures, then he gets out of it quickly because he knows I'll "freak out" but it's not like he didn't know it bothered me. I asked him, so it's ok to to look at those things when I'm not around but not ok when I am? He says yes. And this sounds hypocritical from a guy who is always talking about how much integrity he has because he was in the Marines and that's what they emphasized. I just hate the lying and I feel like he is trying to manipulate me by taking something that bothers me to use it against me. Please help, I'm not sure how I'm going to handle this one. I feel like it will be hard to trust him again or am I overreacting?
View related questions:
celibate, porn Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2015): I would consider you to be overreacting to be honest. Not trying to be harsh, but it seems that your boyfriend is caught in between a rock and a hard place- if he tells you he's watching porn you won't like it, if he doesn't tell you, you don't like it as it's lying.
I personally don't see the harm in occassionally watching porn, and it would appear your boyfriend isn't anti porn either. It seems to me like this is an issue you have, and need to get over because you can't dictate to another person what they can and can't do/watch/enjoy. Good luck
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2015): Keep dumping boyfriends, until you find one that doesn't like porn.
Good luck!
...............................
|
