A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:About 4 and a half months ago my wife cheated on me. The affair had been going on for almost two months before I found out. When I found out I instantly forgave my wife and asked her to stay with me. She was going to leave me for him. However he went to jail and my wife found out he had been lying about his past the entire time. So we decided to try and work things out. Things were going very well. We both were working very hard on are marriage and seemed happy together. The other day my wife and I got in a arugment about the love letters from her affair. I wanted her to get rid of them and she refused to. I told her how much her holding on to them hurt me but she did not care. Very mad and being selfish I decided I was going to show her how it feels and how much it hurt. I know childish and stupid. Anyway I went on craigslist and emailed one of the girls a couple of times over two days. I said I was married but recently cheated on so no longer cared about remaining faithful. After I cooled down I realized what I was doing was completly wrong and deleted the emails. A couple of days later my wife was looking through my email for a free dinner she signed me up for and when she checked the deleted she found the emails. I told her I never acted on them, but understandbly she was pissed. She had all my stuff packed and told me to leave. Things are getting better again now, but I'm not sure how I can possibly get her trust back. Please tell me if you can think of anything I can do to try and make up for what I did.
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female
reader, Lady Rufus +, writes (30 April 2009):
This is Lady Rufus, I understand what you and your wife are going thru, I have been married for 6yrs to a minister. Sit your wife down and tell her you both were wrong she was wrong for cheating and you were wrong for attempting, its time to start on a clean slate. Never talk about it again on both parts and forgive each other on both ends. You can have trust issues with her as well, but it wont get you anywhere. Love, pray together at night, and move forward. If you wife needs advice tell her to email me, I will help the best I can. MRS. Lady Rufus
A
male
reader, enjoimx +, writes (29 April 2009):
 Jeeeze, how quick she sends you packing when you wrong her, and how quick you are to fogrgive her extramarital sexual/love affair. She sounds like she is just looking for ways to get rid of you and break this marriage up. I know you love her derly but she sounds like she isnt that into you. I mean not throwing away letters that hurt you, kicking you out soo quickly, saying she was going to leave you for her affair, this is not a girl I would care to be with. She is just waiting for the right time to end the marriage in my opinion. You are dragging out the inevitable. Do you not agree?
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