A
female
age
36-40,
*onksDaBomb
writes:Granted, I live several states away so have not seen him; just going by what I've heard from my parents:I was home for Christmas; saw him New Year's Eve and left back to my city on New Year's Day....all this started just a week or two after this. Just out of the clear blue as on New Year's Eve he seemed perfectly fine.My brother has been married for about eight years; he will turn 30 next month and they have a three-year old daughter with another child on the way. It may have started even before this but noticeably started with my brother messing around with another woman; thankfully the other woman is out of the picture.He is moody, depressed, won't eat. He is seeing a psychologist, a psychiatrist and is now starting to take anti-depressants and anxiety medication.Unfortunately he is not eating and so the doc told him he has to eat for the medication to work.I am coming home for a week for Easter. My parents told him weeks ago that I was coming home and he seemed excited. Yesterday (a really bad day) my mom said "you know your sister is coming home for Easter, right?" He said "no, when's she going to be home?" He's never that forgetful.I think what he needs is one of those cat scans that show the chemicals in the brain cause obviously something is not right with him.I am extremely close to my brother and it pains me to hear all this happening; it's going to be even worse when I see him...IF I see him - he may not want to see me, which pains me even more.Please, I am begging you, please tell me what you think is going on. I was thinking some sort of mid-life crisis, but he's only 30 and the more I hear about it, the less it sounds like that. He has never, ever had anything like this before. He doesn't smoke and rarely if ever drinks. He doesn't do drugs, either.It's taking a toll on my family as his wife (who's midway through her pregnancy) has high blood pressure and high sugar and keeps losing weight (I fear for the baby!) and the three-year old is starting to cry, saying she misses her daddy.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2009): My sis-in-law went on anti-depressants and she's NOT the same. She wants to take naps all day, and she's only 43. She's unusually forgetful. Not her personality. I say he might need Different Meds. TELL his doctor the symptoms. We have to be PRO-ACTIVE with our health. Doctors these days just want to pour out drugs instead of getting to the root of problems. I go to a naturo-pathic Dr. They ask Good questions. Do some research for him. A good doctor is Hard to find. Many times families want to 'avoid' talking about serious issues. BUT I see you care very deeply, so he's lucky to have a sister like you that will 'gently' not give up if he's not getting proper help.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2009): Hi, sorry but it's against the law for therapists/psychiatrists to discuss confidential information about a patient even if you are a family member so I wouldn't recommend calling them! Also, there is no test or procedure that can determine if someone has a chemical imbalance so it's up to the professional's experience and good judgment in diagnosing one. I would not take this personally, your brother is having a hard time and I would simply let him know you are there for him if he needs you.
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A
female
reader, wonderingcat  +, writes (4 April 2009):
 Dear MonksDaBomb, since this is an informal relationship forum, I don't think any of us here can give you the answer that you are seeking. For professional, ethical and legal reasons of course.If you are really concerned about your brother, the best thing you can do now is to talk to his therapists (psychologists and psychiatrists) who have been treating him. As a family member, you have the right to know some o the things about his mental and physical conditions (with his or his wife's consent and their presence of course, for obvious legal and professional reasons), so you can be more prepared to provide the help and support that he [ad his immediate family] may need.Even if he does not want to see you in person during Easter, perhaps you can leave a message on his answering machine (so he can replay/hearing it repeatedly, if/when when he wants to) and with his wife. Tell him that you love him dearly, and that you will be there for him if and when he needs you. Tell his wife that too, as it must be really hard for her too. My heart goes out for you and your brother's family.
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