A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Please help me I think I blew it with this guy? I´m desperate!?I told him my feelings for him in a note before he left for a deployment, and usually he answers my messages right away , but this one note he answered it 3 days later, and he replied with an answer that at first I believed was accepting me but now I´m just thinking if he just said it to be nice.I said I care about him, and that I want to keep in touch with him while away.He said, he was gonna be busy , and will write if has a chance, but when he get back he´ll definitely be in touch.We´ve keeping in touch for a year now.He hasn´t go home yet, and he he never wrote while being deployed so I´m afraid he´ll never write again even at his return.What can I do to apologize or take away what I said so for him to not walk away from me.Please even if he doesn´t like me I want to have him as friend other than not having me at all.What should I tell him now, to not break communication!! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, BigSis  +, writes (15 April 2008):
 You're welcome, and i'm so happy for you. Hope everything goes well for you both.
I told you ~ you were fretting over nothing.
BigSis xXx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone for your help. He wrote to me today. He´s back!!
And I think everything is gonna be alright now, Thanks again for your support!
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (10 April 2008):
 Another point of view. You didn't do anything wrong by saying you care about him and wish to be in contact. That is a lovely thing to do! Why feel sorry for it?
He is away, and he can't really be there for you. I think he gave you the only answer he could give you at the moment: when he is back, you will be talking. That seems like good news to me.
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A
female
reader, Wisdom  +, writes (10 April 2008):
 Ah, Deployment?? Sounds like Military to me.... I am a military spouse. I can tell you from my experiance and that of others, when a person is on deployment they don't really think of home (despite what media tell us) and this is a good thing, we want them to be focused and not pre occupied with other things when they are in a dangerous area.
My advice write him a letter (NOT an email they are too impersonal) send him photos of you and maybe send him pics of great days out and things. tell him that yes you care about him but your priority is to be his friend. tell him that you don't want to loose him. Let him know you will be there when he gets home. Far too many women set out to do
this but sadly end up cheating on the guys away, he may just be stressed or unhappy. Don't worry just keep things light until the poor man is home then talk to him about how you feel... I am sure you will see a better change then
Good luck
X
Wisdom
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A
female
reader, BigSis +, writes (10 April 2008):
You can't know that you've blown it with this guy, if he's in the forces then he's not going to be able to keep in touch. Did he give you any written or verbal indication that he wasn't interested?
You said; "What can I do to apologize or take away what I said so for him to not walk away from me".
What could you have possibly said in that message that would make him walk away from you? It can't have been that bad.
If you feel you have to write, then just tell him you miss him and can't wait to see him again, and see how it goes.
Give it time, you may be fretting over nothing. I'm sure he'll be in touch as soon as he can. Be strong and be patient.
Chin up eh?
BigSis xXx
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