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Please help me before I do something I regret! I'm sure he has cheated and it is driving me crazy!

Tagged as: Cheating, Marriage problems, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 February 2010) 5 Answers - (Newest, 24 February 2010)
A female South Africa age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I have been married for about 2 years now,everything has been going very well.We loved each other like crazy,beginning of this year 2010.I started noticing my husband started to act very strange e.g when we are going to bed he will switch of his phone or put it on silent and he does not have even saved sms on his phone anymore he deletes them.I started reading his sms,i found an sms from a lady "I love you so much",When i asked him about it he said"No this lady is the lady who was helping me with the insurance claim with his car but now she keeps on sending him this sms's,i have never even seen her"I believed him but not 100%.

I started snooping around checking his pockets and his car.While i was ironing his clothes because he was going to study school for a week in gaunted, i found condoms 1 pocket and only one left and the other pocket was missing a condom.I asked him about it he said one day i asked him to buy condoms and he forgot them on his trousers and he denied everything i asked,saying that im accusing him and all that.I went a checked his sms i found an sms he sent to this lady he studies with saying"Please make sure that you look good tomorrow,since it has been a long time since we have seen each other",please bare in mind that the lady that he sent an sms is travelling with him the following day to gauteng for classes for the whole week.I asked him about it and he says"im interpreting the sms the wrong way,he denies having a relationship with his classmate.Right now they are both in gaunteng ,but he said he left the lady he didnt go with her because i said i dont want him to lift the lady anymore,i will never know if he lifted her or not.but im sure he did.We have a huge physical fight because i wanted to leave and go to my parents house and he didnt want me to go.I wanted to stab him with a knife but he took the knife out of my hands, i still want to kill him.Im tired of this .please help me before i do something i will regret.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2010):

hun, your hb is cheating. do not wreck your life by doing something that you may regret. he is just not worth it. the sms and especially the condoms reveal that he is cheating on you, he is opening cheating on your marriage and he thinks you are a fool to just accept his mere words. your life is worth more than being with this adulterer. so he can have his study f*ck buddy but you will be not be around to have him turn your life upside down.

hugs from me. i know you are very emotional. but please try to think straight. take a deep breathe and think. how are you married. whose name is the bond. kids? be pro active and do not let him treat you like a doormat. your only regret will be if you choose to stay with a cheating hb. good luck and please stay strong. you will survive this.

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A female reader, Paris-Amy-Louise United Kingdom +, writes (24 February 2010):

Paris-Amy-Louise agony auntWow. I've been through this, so i know exactly how you feel.

Huni, if you feel suspicious about this guy, you shouldn't even be with him. People are meant to be together and love eachother. Not snoop around and try and find whats going on.

Confront him ask him its either you or this new lady. He can try and deny it all he wants, if he's denying it and your sure that he's cheating, go to your parents house. Just leave him, after a few weeks, he might come back, he might tell you the truth, or he might not...

But yes. Killing is not the answer huni.

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A female reader, shnookims South Africa +, writes (24 February 2010):

shnookims agony auntYou don't need anymore proof that he's cheating on you, just leave. Get out before you do something you regret or before you get anymore hurt and used.

You don't deserve this but killing him is not the answer.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (24 February 2010):

You have the texts that prove is in contact with another women. You have the condoms he 'forgot' about. You have another text saying 'Please make sure you look good, we haven't seen each other in a long time'. Yes he's cheated, and you need to get away from him if you wanted to stab him. Just get away from him.

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A female reader, mystiquek United States + , writes (24 February 2010):

mystiquek agony auntIf you are so angry that you want to kill him, then you shouldn't be around him at all. I understand that you are hurt, upset and confused, but trying to kill someone is NOT the answer. I suggest that you get some counselling and anger management before you hurt or kill him and wind up in jail for the rest of your life! No matter WHAT he has done or is doing, killing is NOT the answer! Please get help!

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