A
male
age
36-40,
*aniel1237
writes:i'm 21, and i'm still a virgin. not only that, but i've never had a girlfriend or a even a date, and have never even kissed a girl on the lips. everyday, i see girls that are very attractive, and i feel more helpless and frustrated each day. can anyone out there give me some advice? i don't believe 21 is too young and i really want to lose my virginity as soon as possible, or at least kiss. don't tell me i'm too young to kiss.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2008): Ok, I have read through all your replies, and trust me, those people know what they are talking about. However, I am one of those people who, once I have made up my mind, just stick to my decisions, regardless of any one's opinions. So I am not going to give you the right answer like the other people, I am going to tell you about my first kiss.
I was 18, almost 19, and shy as hell. I went to a dance, and was too shy to ask someone with, so one of my friends organised me a date (not a blind date, I have met the guy a few times).
He also turned out to be shy, or at least that was the impression I got, judging by the fact that he bought 3 bottles of wine along! So we both got tipsy, and finally I had the courage to drag him outside and kiss him. It was just one of those things I wanted to get over and done with. I remember sitting on a wall next to the swimming pool, and I remember that he did not taste that bad (I was always urked by the thought of my tongue in someone ese's mouth). The rest is a blur...
Next thing I knew, he was in love with me, but I did not feel the same. For a while I avoided him like pest, and then we became friends. My first kiss was not necessarily a special occasion, but even so, I do not regret it. Basically, what i am trying to say, is if you want to do it, just do it! I promise it won't kill you, won't make you a bad person, etc. But if you want to do it my way, dont expect fireworks....
A
female
reader, Lajqi8 +, writes (22 July 2008):
I just turned 22, and have been in your shoes, only I'm a girl. Any way, like me, I'm sure you're really shy and have had self esteem issues. Five months ago, I finally got my first kiss, sure I'm embarrassed that it didn't happen til I was 21, but the sex part was really important to me because I definitely felt it was worth the wait, even though it wasn't by choice. Don't worry, just live your life and it will happen eventually, that's how it happened for me, and it happened when I was least expecting it.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2008): No worries mate. I a 23 year old guy. I have the same feelings as you. Also I am tall, good looking, and have self confidence, but really just don't know how to initiate a relationship, and then I loose confidence to ask a girl out once she becomes a good friend because I fear I may loose the friendship. This happens to me all the time and fills me with regret. 21 is OK to be a virgin. I know it is something you want to experience, and definitely want to do before you are too old. But the truth is, it is better to find love than sex. It is also harder to find love than sex. Or to feel brave enough to love.Take it easy. Make friends. Live your life. Be proud that you have your freedom.Also just talk to girls. Right now you have 'nothing' in the sense of a girlfriend, so from talking to girls you can only gain, because you can never be left with less than nothing. Cheers!
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A
female
reader, lil-chloe  +, writes (19 July 2008):
 don't worry someone will come along soon. forget about it and wait till the right personcomes along.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2008): I don't think that you are too young to kiss. The daily topics that are discussed here by people your age are usually of the XXX variety. Don't despair though.It seems that you might lack confidence. You should know that one of the most admirable and attractive qualities a man can have is confidence and comfort in who he is. Don't try to fit some mold. Be confident and proud of who you are, your interests, your accomplishments. If you don't feel proud, then ask yourself what you would like to aspire to: what hobbies would you like to take up, what books would you like to read, what principles do you live your life by???????The next time you see a girl that you think is attractive, whether you know her or not, say hello casually and smile. Take this into practice and the next time you really like a girl, approaching her and being yourself will not seem so foreign.Be patient with yourself and other people and you will get what you desire in time.
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A
male
reader, Mark25 +, writes (19 July 2008):
 You're not too young to kiss but it is obvious why you've not met anyone. You are so desperate to lose your virginity that you are seeing girls as sexual objects and not people. Women have fantastic personalities and deserve to be respected. If all you're after is sex then this will come across when talking to somebody. Stop worrying about being a virgin. Believe it or not but 21 is not a bad age to be a virgin. Lots of 21 year old's are still virgins. You're not a freak. Sex is a fantastic thing when you're in love but a shallow and empty thing when you're not. Concentrate on making friends first not girlfriends. You might find that with the friends you make a loving relationship will develop. If that happens sex will follow naturally. Sex without love is not fulfilling. Quite the opposite. The more loveless sex you have the sadder, lonelier and emptier you feel. Holding someone and talking to them when you're in a relationship will fill you with more joy and happiness than you could ever imagine. Don't jump into bed with the first person you get the chance to because you'll regret it. Find someone to love and then make love. You'll be happier for it.
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