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Out of the blue, she says she's pregnant with my husbands baby!

Tagged as: Cheating, Marriage problems, Pregnancy<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 November 2008) 5 Answers - (Newest, 30 November 2008)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

My husband and I have been married for over six years now. We sepereated back in December of 06 and got back together in July of 07....Been together ever since. Before we seperated we had two children that are now six and four. After we got back together I found out I was pregnant with our third child which is 7 months old now. Two months ago a girl showed up out of the blue and said that they had slept together while we were seperated and she had gotten pregnant and she is claiming that it is his. The child was born in January so the kid would now be around 10 months old. After this there was not another word until last week. The child support agency contacted my husband saying that she was filing for child support. My husband then took the DNA test and we are now awaiting the results. My husband says he did sleep with her while we were seperated, but declares this can't be his kid. I need advice on how to handle this situation. I love my husband and things have been so much better since we have got back together. But, this has really hit me hard and I have no clue what to do. The thought that we have a seven month old baby together and now there's a chance that he may have a ten month old as well is very hard for me. I know I need to wait until the test is complete to dwell on this too much, but it's hard. There are people out there that are saying she is only doing this because she needs the money and she has no clue who the father of the kid is. Please give any advice that you may have.

View related questions: got back together, money

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A male reader, DanielMontes United States +, writes (30 November 2008):

So, is it his baby or not? My guess it is his baby, because you never came back to tell us. Now, what do you do with all these kids? She has him on the hook for support. You cannot complain, because it happened while you guys were separated. Its your call on how to proceed.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2008):

I'm going thru this as well. all you can do is hope that its not. but if it happens to be his then allow him to have relationship with the child. if that is what he wants. the child didn't ask to be here & its not the childs fault its mother is who she is. don't get caught up in what people are saying either because your just getting yourself more stressed out... opinions are like a**holes everybody has one. don't listen to gossip it will only add more stress to your relationship. you love your husband just be there for him this cant be easy for him. & until you get the results just take it easy don't jump to conclusions. take it one day at a time sweety. you will get thru this.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2008):

Instead of stressing so much please wait till the DNA results come in.Till then try keeping yourself busy with the baby and your big kids.Please keep us posted.My prayers go with you.

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A female reader, Basschick Australia +, writes (25 November 2008):

Basschick agony auntYou won't know until the DNA test comes back. The proof will be in the pudding, so to speak. If it comes back negative, then you can put this whole thing to rest....except for the fact that your husband did sleep with someone while you were separated. That fact alone, will cause you grief in the months to come. If it comes back positive, you will have much bigger problems to deal with. I think it's interesting that he admitted to sleeping with her, but can't quite grasp the reality of getting her pregnant. Duh! Good luck, sweetie. Either way, this is no picnic for you.

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A female reader, Ms.wayne United States +, writes (25 November 2008):

Wow, thats a hard pill to swallow. Well at least you two were separated and he did not cheat on you. Things happen when people separate,and this could very well be her trying to get money but like you said, you won't know what to do until the results. Until then I would just pray and continue to do well in your relationship with your husband and hope for the best. If this does turn out to be his child then he needs to be a father and pay child support but thats it, nothing should be done with this woman other than that. You two are married and it would just be as if he had another child with someone else before you were married but in this case it just happened while you were separated. I hope this helps but Just pray and try to be positive. I wish you the best. Keep us posted!

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