A
female
age
51-59,
despair
writes:I am in total desperation. I have been with my husband for 36 years and have 3 children all out of the home. We have had our ups and downs throughout our life but have always managed to overcome our problems. 6 years ago we bought a business which is a 24/7 type. I run the business and in a way have put a stone around my neck. My problem is my husband started an affair six years ago which is still going on. He lies about it he has become so very deceitful and i feel i can no longer trust anything he says. We are very close and if it were not for this affair which he refuses to end we would have a ideal relationship.. I am at the point of leaving but after 36 year it is very difficult. I desperately need some help...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2008): You deserve better. Cut all contact with this man, get a solicitor, and look after yourself. Be honest with the kids but dont be bitter. In time, you will be so glad you took the step. Keep reminding yourself that you are special. Imagine if one of your daughters or sons were in the same situation.. what would you advise them? Then tell yourself the same and believe it. Things will get better. Take care.
A
female
reader, baby duck  + ♥, writes (13 January 2008):
 I think a one night stand is a cry for help. A six year affair means he has no interest in your relationship.
It is not about his needs not getting met. They most certainly are. You're providing some, she's providing some.
You cannot change his behavior. His unwillingness to be honest proves you have no communication. No communication = No relationship.
You need a monogamous relationship. You cannot make him want that with you. You can choose to end the hurtful relationship you are in.
Take care of yourself. No one else is.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2008): This man surely cannot love you if he has been with another woman behind your back for 6 years. Im going to keep this short, but clearly you are a woman that knows what she wants and you do not deserve what he is doing. Yes you have been together a very long time, but you should certainly leave! if he is whilling to have an affair after such a long relationship then why the hell should you stay being apart of that because the last 6 have been based on lies. the fact that he is still in denial and not prepared to end it shows a lack of respect for you, he does not deserve a woman like you!Get yourself out of there huni, you got a long life ahead of you yet. go wild, get yourself a toyboy if needs must but get out there and leave him behind. I repeat HE DOESN'T DESERVE YOU!
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