A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:How do i explain to my parents that my boyfriend is half black? I'm from a very strict Russian family,and my parents are very old fashioned. We are not racist at all, it just my parents arent very good with changes. Church every sunday, and nothing out of the norm. I've been friends with this guy since kindergarten, and things are getting serious between us. I trust him more than anyone else and he understands me. He wants to meet my parents. How do I tell them that he isnt the perfect guy the excpected me to be with? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (7 March 2013):
 How in the world have you been friends with a boy since Kindergarten and your parents don’t know him?
If your parents aren’t good with change your boyfriend’s race would not matter but since you mentioned it and you had to add “we are not racist at all” I’m sensing it really is about his race.
So if it’s not about his race, what is the problem? He goes to school right? He’s not much older or younger than you right? IF he gets good grades, comes from a nice home and is a nice boy… then what’s the problem?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2013): Everyone's a little bit racist, even if we don't admit it.Just introduce him to your parents and deal with it like an adult. So what if they don't like him. If he is someone you're willing to go with long term, race shouldn't stop you, and if you're so scared of what your parents think, then you're racist and need to get over that.Am I being harsh? Maybe, but I've walked this walk and I just dealt with it. It took my dad a few weeks to decide whether he was okay with it, and if he wasn't I wouldn't have broke up with my man anyway. And when my grandma told me that I'd find another boy, I told her I like him just fine.Fact is, I liked him so much I married him. By the way I'm white and he's Asian/Pacific Islander... my Asian persuasion (he likes that nickname).
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (6 March 2013):
 Isn't it sort of ironic that you can have such truth and such untruth in the same sentence?
" We are not racist at all, it just my parents arent very good with changes."
Truth: Your parents really AREN'T very good with changes.
Untruth: Your parents really ARE racist...
Looks like they are satidfied that the truth is sufficient for them to not change the untruth...
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (6 March 2013):
 But there is nothing out of the norm in being black or half black in USA. Afro-Americans and Black Hispanics are more than 40 millions people and live all over USA.
While Russian Americans are less than 3 millions and practically absent from the scene in several States.
Maybe it's your parents who are " out of the norm " then ?
I know that the argumentation above would not sound very convincing to your parents , but , try to make them see it this way :
how would they feel if YOU were considered " out of the norm " and " uneligible " because of YOUR ancestry ?
How would they like if YOU where visiting a bf's family , and they had decided they hate your guts on principle because they don't like " out of the norm " Russians ? How would they like if you where the outcast at school , or at college, and could not make friends or hang out with whom you like, because their slow- to- change , conservative parents think that you are a " weird " , " imperfect " " does not quite cut it " Russian girl ?
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A
male
reader, SensitiveBloke  +, writes (6 March 2013):
 There's no particular way to explain it. At the end of the day, tell them the reasons you like him and why you think he would be a suitable boyfriend.
My future mother-in-law was very upset when she realised i was a different nationality from her daughter, but she could see how happy her daughter was. When she met me, she realised i was a nice person, so she came round to the idea and is now completely fine about it.
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