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female
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*leesha_505
writes: Ive been with my boyfriend since i was 15 and we have a 1 an 1/2 year old son, we have been together 5 years i recently found out he had another girlfriend and lived with her when i was younger they were together for four years she claims, i have accepted this and tried to make my relationship work after he told her he doesnt love her he loves me, they split up in 2004 and she got envolved with another man, now she has found out about me and wants him back well that was about 5 months ago an she just wont leave us alone, she keeps getting people to phone my mum and threatening her an my family, i have destroyed aboy 7 sim cards and she says she wont stop until she gets her man, he is from zimbabwe and she is trying to get him sent back coz she knows i cannot afford to go there and she can she is from sierra leone and often visits africa she says they will sort it out in zim, im sick of the constant 100 missed calls in the space of a day and endless texts she is a nutter shes pretended she was pregnant an then admitted she was lying sayin she doesnt want him she just wants money he owes or somethin.i have offered the money but she wont take it an ses it got nothin to do with me she tried givin me advice at 2st tryin to make me hate him and get rid of him(so she could have him) and now coz its not worked shes got nasty callin my son a pakki coz hes mixed race, threatenin all the time, normally i wouldnt think twice about finding her and sorting it out myself but im pregnant again so im stuck,my boyfriend has told her endlessly he cant stand her but she says she is coming to get him and his things i told her if he wanted her i would let him go but she cant see he does not love her,she is causing so much trouble an i fear all this stress will har my baby i really dont know what to do my mum has been in touch with police but they are not doing anythin to help ifact they are totally out of it all now.i know it mustnt be easy for his ex to have found out all this but its not easy for me either i never knew anything about her im just so depressed coz i cant defend myself she said she will get men to come an rape me while im pregnant to teach me alesson,please help me im really stuck thanks
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female
reader, beentheredonethat +, writes (16 October 2006):
 I don't mean to be unkind to HIM....but she is His problem and SHE would not continue if she got NO encouragement from him. If He wanted rid of her...he would change his number...never answer one of her calls and assure you that he was never meeting her ANYWHERE.
How is she going to SEND men to RAPE you. Think of the logistics of that in the real world. She must pay them, and the expenses to get to where you are...AND How would she even know where you live? How did she get your mothers number...get it changed for her. You can do many things to close a curtain from someone who is playing games...but right now she's winning because SHE is sitting back laughing while you are the one dealing with all the stress. All she has to do is fake a voice or have her friend call you and SAY something and you are jumping through hoops in fear. If she really meant to harm you....She would not be warning you about that. But, if she can scare you away...or cause YOU one moment of arguing, sadness or fear....SHE WINS. She is a woman scorned and she can play all sorts of mind games...that don't cost her much in time or effort and yet reward her with you and your family being all upset at him...at you...and all she has to do pretend. Now...document everything she does....Don't destroy another thing she writes and only speak to her...when she's being recorded.
And TELL her your recording all conversations and keeping all correspondence on advice from the police. See TWO can play the game of pretend....and you can see just how REAL she wants to be....when in HER mind the authorities are involved. Then if she should pull the smallest thing....YOU have all the evidence of harassment available for the authorities.
Stop playing victim and If that man Won't stand up to that girl.....he is not a man or he's not being 100% honest with you about some feature of his past relationship with her.
A
male
reader, Richy rich  +, writes (16 October 2006):
This girl really does sound like a nutter!
Threats of any kind are illegal under most legal systems. If you contact your local authorities and tell them your problem and how long it has been going on for im sure they will be able to help you and your family. If she is after your boyfriend it is clear she is out to hurt you and your life. DO NOT talk to her that is the worst thing you can do and will damage your legal claims. Your man loves you and has alot of history with you (i.e. A son) I do not think he will run away with this obvious fruit cake. Just make sure you take these steps... Remember and note when the harrasment happens and where it happenes. Go to the police tell them what you have been through and what you are currently going through give them notes and keep making them.
You should not stop untill this women is either behind bars or deported.
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