A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi theres a few little things going on at the moment that i would like peoples advice on. First I am 21 and am completely broke and cant get a job for the summer (i have another year of college to go) and its bringing me down so much, i feel like life is passing me by..I am not a lazy person at all and i hate being bored and having no money, its getting to me so much, my parents say its not my fault and their helping me with cash but i feel like such a waster. I feel so depressed about this, i cant even enjoy my summer because i have no money. Anway the next thing is a bit of a triangle ive found myself in. I was still in love with my ex for the past 8months (thats when we broke up) and we had been texting constantly and always seemed like we'd get back together but just when it seemed we'd get together something would happen.( I take some of the blame for this i am a bit crazy when im drinking) and the moment would be ruined. I was with another guy lately so so hot (it has been casual so far though)and ive kinda started to think i might like him too but im not sure whether i actually like him or im trying to distract myself from my ex. I always thought me and my ex would end up together but im just not sure what to do. I dont wanna pick the wrong guy i dont know how to choose. Maybe im lying to myself i dont know, a part of me would like to move on would i dont know if i can just leave things with my ex when i love him so so much. We have been in contact a lot lately and im gona see then both @weekend. How do you know who to choose? Thanks everybody!
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI do trust him i think she has tries to cause trouble and make me paranoid. i have told him everything and he was just as shocked as me so i dont believe it. Its just hard to know that someone who knows everything about you and knows your weaknesses would throw something like that in your face.. Me and him broke up for a while but we quickly reconciled so maybe she is using that...she knows everything that happened and it makes me sick to think that she would use that as ammunition against me.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI dont think the navy is an option for me..thanks though. Okay to the girl thanks for the advice i dont think i have a drinking problem though. im only talking about maybe one or two occasions when ive had a bit too much (im 21 i dont think that that is too unusual!!). In fact ive barely drank throughout the year only now and again. I didnt realize my question came across that way. Anway maybe i am feeling a bit low because of the job situation and all that but again i think thats not that unusual..I do feel down sometimes but i dont think its as serious as clinical depression or anything. I do believe that counselling is good for everybody though and maybe ill look into it. As for the guy thing, im dont think i can let it go on any longer by putting off a decision. I have to decide asap im just wondering if you had any advice? about how to decide which one i prefer?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2008): Ok, first of you say that you act crazy when you have a drink - DON'T DRINK! You know that the things you do when you have had a drink spoil/prevent the things you want so it's time to stop, or at least cut right back. If you go out set yourself a very strict limit and stick to it (maybe just two drinks then onto soft drinks). You are already depressed and alcohol makes you more depressed so you have got yourself running in a circle chasing your own tail with that one, too. Alcohol isn't helping your situation, it's just adding to it and making it worse.Who should you choose... honestly? Neither of them! You need to sort out yourself before you can be a girlfriend to someone else. Your ex, if you were to give it another go, would need you to be stable and at the very least working on your issues for it to stand a chance (back to the booze issues, I'm afraid), and as for the other guy, well, no matter how hot he is, what you are doing is not fair to him, as you are getting into a relationship with him when your heart lies elsewhere and is not free to be given to him.It could well be that you are suffering from depression, so I would make an appointment with your doctor and get assessed (ask for counselling as well, so you can start working through your issues). Cut down or stop the drinking (you can still have a good time without it, honestly, and it will save you a fortune) and take a breather from these two guys to work on yourself.Good luck with college, and please try and let us know how you get on.
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