A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I wonder if anyone can help me here. I've been with a guy for over two and a half years. The sex I have with him is not too good. He is in his early 40s but he doesn't do much foreplay. He gets funny if I try to kiss him all over, he never explores my body, all he does is kiss me on the lips and put his hand straight down my crutch.Now I give him oral sex but he won't go down on me. He will only do that if we have had a shower and I've soaped myself down below. Now I bathe every day so I know it's not a hygiene problem.He seems to be shy when it comes to intimacy, but he says he loves me. I have told him that I wanted more foreplay etc but it doesn't seem to sink in. Now I'm getting bored with the sex and with him.Is it worth putting up with him or shall I call it a day? The sex act lasts about a minute as well!
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female
reader, shania +, writes (24 November 2005):
 If you have told him,countless times and its still not sinking in then i would get my hat and coat and leg it! I would of thought that a man in his forties would by now know roughly how to please a woman.You shouldnt have to beg for affection or sexual pleasure,he should want to do it.Do you want to spend the rest of your life with a crap lover who has refused to listen to you? You have been patient dear,but there comes a time when enough is enough.It does seem to me that he is only interested in his own sexual pleasure,i think they call it wam bam thank you mam! This selfish man is still a little boy in a mans body,who for some reason is scared of intimacy.Leave this dreary relationship before you die of boredom!
A
female
reader, trixy +, writes (21 November 2005):
Hi, YOU need to have a good talk to your husband, you need to tell him exactly how you are feeling. And how long you have been feeling like this. If he loves you he will listen and try and inprove your love life. If he doesnt want to talk about it, tell him that you dont know how long you can keep this up, and that it is affecting your relashionship. As everyone needs loving and you have been with each other long enough to be able to talk like adults. GOOD LUCK
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A
male
reader, Toddler 25 +, writes (21 November 2005):
There could be tons of issues on why he is doing this. Something in his past/his upbringing/his earlier relationships etc can be some of the reasons. I would suggest you talk to him about it, tell him its a problem for you and if he tries to dodge it get firmer, tell him you're not sure you can go on like this.I disagree with the advice on just kicking him out, he could very well love you and just have trouble with the intimacy, thats what it sounds like to me anyways. I would suggest councelling actually, sex therapy can really help and it does sound like he needs it. This wont straighten itself out in one fabulous night though, it will take work. You have to decide if you're up for that or if its allready to late. Maybe you have other reasons for wanting to end it as well?Good luck whatever you choose :)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2005): Call it a day, a week, a month, a year, a life time, for God's sake. Why has it taken you so long to kick this bum out of your bed? He is not going to change, and has no real interest in pleasuring you. His idea of sex is to simply get his own pleasure and roll over and go to sleep. There are many wonderful men out their who would love to find a woman like you. Find one of them, and leave this jerk in the dust.
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A
female
reader, lisa_01  +, writes (21 November 2005):
 Every guy has fantasy's about something, maybe try get him out of his compfort zone and then ask him about what he likes, and then maybe you 2 could take turns ,one week you do what he wants then the next week you do what you want. Lasting about 1 minute maybe a problem, prehaps he has a health problem and thats why his not lasting long and that also might explain why his so shy. good luck
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