A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey agony aunts! I met this guy a month and a half ago, he lives in my apartment complex. I thought he was very good looking and at first he seemed like a good guy. The first time he started talking to me outside we talked for 2 or 3 hours in the hallway. Than I went into his apartment and we hung out for a few more hours talking then it got late so I went home and he asked me to come back tomorrow and I did.Since then we would tease each other but he'd get mean using reverse psychology. I don't know why cause I wasn't playing hard to get I am just not ready for a relationship or sex. But the thing is that yesterday when I visited him he was down about his granma being in the hospital. So we're hanging out and we were joking around and talking about random stuff. I was wearing a just above the knee skirt that was frilly and as we were talking I had to pull it down cause it was going up. As I'm fixing it he says with a quirky smile on his face"it doesn't matter know one would want to look up a skirt on you"I started laughing then threw a lighter at him then hit him lightly and we started wrestling. Then I pushed him away and he began trying to lift my skirt up.When he finally lifted my skirt up seeing my underwear without my consent I was getting a little frustrated by then and he took no notice to it. Then he grabbed my arm and I fell into his lap and we stared right at each other and I went for kiss and he looked shocked and I felt stupid and got off of him. I called him a tease jokingly but he took it serious and I said "I don't want to have sex with you it doesn't feel right and your just my friend and I want to keep it that way"He began moving stuff around away from the couch and I stood up than he pushed me down and got on top of me and began to thrust me and said "we're not having sex but I am grabbing your bum" I'll admit I liked it but in a guilty way I don't like sleeping around I only enjoy sex with someone I love and my last boyfriend disappeared.This guy said to me after I pushed him off a second time that it's just no strings attached fun and don't get weird on me. I said I don't feel comfortable doing this and he wrestled with me again. than he helped me off the couch and we began to kiss in front of the bedroom door. He pushed me onto the bed and we kissed some more then he undressed me and we began playing with each other no sex though. We almost had sex but right before he asked if I was a virgin and he tried to put it in but it hurt. I guess cause I'm not very experienced in bed so he played with me while we kissed and he kept saying how hot it was that he was making me moan. Than someone called his phone for the third time him thinking it was his mom calling telling him his granma passed away and low and behold it was he looked like he was going to cry and he appreciated the hug I offered him. As were both heading out the door he says come back Thursday you were really hot and he apologised but I said no its ok I'm sorry. I feel weird cause I want to tell him I don't want to have sex with him or do any sexual things . I'm a relationship kind of girl and he isn't I don't want to get involved with him on that level. How do I tell him this firmly and ask to just be friends without sex or anything it would be weird since he's my neighbour if we weren't friends and things were tense. Thanks for reading aunties and sorry for going into detail it's appreciated.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone for your replies. and your right Cerberus even though the reality was kind of harsh your right.
I am attracted to him when he's not acting like a kid but I don't want to get involved with him any more on a sexual level it's to much to handle for me and those weren't my intentions to go there and fool around with him that night. It happened even though I said no countless time and he kept asking which is also wrong on his part to keep pushing for sex I even told him why I didn't want to but oh well next time I see him I will tell him.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2012): I'm sorry OP but for a girl who says she doesn't want sex you have a seriously funny way of showing it.
I wouldn't bother telling him anything OP because it will make no difference because you say one thing but act completely the opposite and most of us guys see girls like that, who say they don't want to but then let us fool around with them, as playing hard to get. I certainly wouldn't listen to you if you said you didn't want to after how far you went that time. I'd keep trying because regardless of what you say you will be alone with me and you will let me shag you because if you were a strictly a relationship type of girl then none of that stuff would have happened in the first place. So there's nothing "strictly" about you.
I mean come on, he said and did lots of sleazy crap that day and you didn't once stop him and you had lots of signs of his intentions and could have left at any moment. You went from talking, to wrestling, to kissing, to attempting sex. For a girl who says she's not into that kind of thing your actions are the complete opposite.
Don't bother telling him anything your words will sound hollow after what happened and there is no chance in hell he won't shag you next time you're alone with him because you either can't help yourself or you can't say no and he is definitely going to keep trying no matter what he says because that's the type of guy he is.
If you really don't want to, then don't be alone with him again, not even for a second. You see you and he make a good combination. You could tell him you're not going to sleep with him etc. He'll say that's fine and he respects your wishes but he'll still keep trying it on and tell you he can't help himself.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (6 April 2012):
 He's way too aggressive and suggestive.
I echo the other 2 aunts in avoiding him. You can try all you want to tell him no you don't sex but he's going to turn on the charm and get pretty forceful with you. Seeing as you're pretty passive, you'll back down and let him take over.
Plus, I doubt with his behavior he's going to take just friends as an option. He wants you sexually and that's pretty hard for a guy to turn off.
Avoid him at all costs.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (6 April 2012):
 I think you are playing with fire here. If you don't want to have sex with him, then stop being alone with him.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (6 April 2012):
 If you really dont want to have sex with him, avoid being in confined spaces alone with him, especially dont go into his apartment and dont invite him into yours.
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