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My wife wants me to give up drinking, but I don't really want to.

Tagged as: Big Questions, Health, Marriage problems<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 October 2009) 6 Answers - (Newest, 10 April 2010)
A male Kenya age 26-29, anonymous writes:

i have been married for about 2years with a 4 months son. it has developed that of late my wife dosen't want me to drink and also to hangout with my friends and as we met i used to drink something have tried to quit but all in vein. the other day she threaten me that she was going to leave if i dont stop drinking. the fact is that am always responsible even if am drunk. i love my wife so much and i also like drinking.Kindly advice

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A male reader, ChaseTerrier United States +, writes (10 April 2010):

http://www.moderation.org/

You may want to check this web-site out. It helped me to learn how to control my drinking and my life and my family is better. I did not quit drinking, but I never get drunk any more.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2009):

It is clearly evident that there are issues with alcohol consumption and it is having negative consequences within your family unit; this is typically the case.

Do yourself a favour and be honest as you answer any one of many self tests on the internet to discover or help you discover what you may already know but choose to deny.

I believe that you will be a better person for having faced this issue and dealing with it will empower yourself and your family unit in a most positive way.

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A female reader, susandrah Uganda +, writes (8 October 2009):

susandrah agony aunthi. find a quite time and discuss with your wife why she actually wants you to quite drinking. she must be having her reasons why and you too try to explain to her how you feel about her demands and threat, both of you must be willing to listen and understand each other and the together agree on the way forward through a compromise, since you love your son and wife, you should be able to work things out for the good of your family. rem you u can happily live without drinking if you really must. its a good choice to make. good luck

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (8 October 2009):

Honeypie agony auntIf the two of you can no find a compromise I think you are going to loose your wife. I can understand still having friends and being able to hang out with them is important, but really is drinking more important then your wife and son?

I guess that is something you will have to decide.

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A female reader, Melys South Africa +, writes (8 October 2009):

Melys agony auntHi there,

Do you drink heavily? is it every night? is that why your wife doesn't want you to drink anymore...maybe it's the amount of money you're spending on it...I wonder if she drinks sometimes too...

Maybe cause you drink, you can't get up during the night to feed baby...I'm just coming up with possible scenarios here for you to think about....

It seems like you need to come to some sort of compromise with her...maybe you should drink just at weekends...I understand that it's nice to have a relaxing drink in the evening after a strenuous day at work...or maybe cut down the amount a little? You say that you're responsible when you're drunk...so I take it you do get drunk...that's probably what she doesn't like, even though you can handle it, you're still drunk! and it's probably a bit annoying for her, especially as you both have a 4 month old baby to consider...therefore why don't you cut down a little?

If she's threatened to leave you, then it must really be getting to her...

Hope it goes well and I'd love to hear how it goes for you....

Good Luck...

But...she is your wife and what she thinks is important...maybe she wants more attention from you without drink....especially with the baby...

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A female reader, Sammycake United Kingdom +, writes (8 October 2009):

Sammycake agony auntPersonally, I think you're being rather selfish. You say you're responsible when you're drinking, but it's very apparent that your wife doesn't agree with that fact - you have a 4 month old son with her and they should be your primary concern. Don't stop drinking altogether, drink in moderation, but you need to help your wife with your son. She might be feeling like she's doing all of the work bringing the child up while you're out with all of your friends drinking and having fun. Perhaps you should offer to look after your son and let her go out for an evening for a break from all of the work?

Good luck.

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