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My wife likes to pleasure herself, is this normal? I only thought it was men that played with themselves!

Tagged as: Marriage problems, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 October 2009) 9 Answers - (Newest, 19 November 2009)
A male Australia age 51-59, *yan writes:


we have been married for over 25 years and there is very little my wife and i have not done in the bedroom department. we both enjoy sex and are healthy.

recently my wife is more into self please of herself, its something she as done for many years and we have always found it a turn on. i will start playing with her and she always want to take over, she as said she has played with herself at work in the bath room as she feel she is horny and loves the feeling it gives her.

we have several toys and we use them is this normal as i thought it was only us guy that played with ourselves.

do any other woman out there do the same

View related questions: at work, horny

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2009):


There were many books written on the female orgasm in the 60's/70's during the "sexual revolution". Despite all of this knowledge, men can't seem to please women the same as women can please themselves. This is a very frustrating experience in the bedroom. There are three types of female orgasm: 1) clitoral, 2) vaginal and 3) a combination of both. Freud said that what separates women from girls is that women can have vaginal orgasms as well. Vaginal orgasms are the most pleasurable and intense to a woman (to a woman who has had them and knows what it is) and a combination of the two is amazing.

Despite writings on the female orgasm, men are not willing to take enough time as a man's orgasm comes so quickly and easily. A woman knows where to push her own buttons and this is something that a man simply can't know or do most of the time. Men are too selfish.


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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2009):

Yes, totaly normal! I do it, too. TRUST ME, you are one of the lucky guys. I have several friends who have never done it and they are sooooo unhappy in their marriage. They think their husbands suck in bed, they gaze at my hubby (because I once confessed I ALWAYS have more than one orgasm) and just seem miserable in general. Keep up the play! It's totally fun!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2009):

Oh, yes.

It is healthy... and convenient too! Just goes to show you that ladies are correct when they assert that a modern woman doesn't need a man to "take care of her." And considering the prospect of "hands on" sex with many of these modern girls - it is a tremendous relief too. You should be happy. Just think of it as putting her on autopilot. Believe me, there's a lot of poor suckers out there who'd love to be able to put the old bat on autopilot now and again to get some decent sleep once in a while.

After 25 years of dedicated service you are in for a well-deserved break, my friend. Take full advantage of this wonderful opportunity!

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A male reader, Illithid United States +, writes (12 October 2009):

Illithid agony auntNot only is that normal, but that's enviable. A woman that pleasures herself knows what to ask for from a man. Many women that never masturbate also don't know what feels best and somehow expect their partners to psychically know how to please without guidance or instruction.

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A female reader, Sexi star   +, writes (12 October 2009):

Absolutley true

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A female reader, HonningKanin Norway +, writes (12 October 2009):

HonningKanin agony auntShort answer, Yes. Totally normal.



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A female reader, TasteofIndia United States + , writes (12 October 2009):

TasteofIndia agony auntThere is nothing wrong with your wife! In fact, you guys are a great example to everyone else in the universe... 25 years, still sexually happy, healthy and experimental. So kudos to you, and to your wife who is open about her self pleasure. It's totally normal and lots and lots of women indulge in it regularly!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2009):


Yes, it is very normal, as normal as it is for a man! And, although the statistics for women pleasuring themselves aren't as high as that of the men, it is on the rise!

And, yes there are plenty of women out there how indulge in it.

And congrats for being married for 25years, for having an exciting sex life and caring about your wife!

Hey, knock off this thought out of your head, no more losing sleep over the whole 'normal' issue.


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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (12 October 2009):

I'm a man, but I can say that there are quite a few women who pleasure themselves. They're just as interested in sex as men. Don't be threatened, instead, continue to make her feel loved in the bedroom.

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