A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: My wife is extremely jealous. I need help. I can't look anywhere without her accusing me of checking women out. I'm not allowed to go out without her anywhere. When we watch TV, she expects me turn around every time a female comes on screen. I have suggested counseling for both of us but she refuses, she says that is nobody's bussines, that our problems are our problem and no one needs to know them. I've been married for 21 yrs, and since then when she would ask me if I though someone was good looking I would alway say no. Her response would be you're a good lier. I always though it was cute of her to say that. 15 yrs later she comes out saying that she always believed me whenever I said no one was good looking. ( never mind attractive or any other description, that would put me on the street). I don't know how to handle this anymore we have two kids 13 and 17, I would hate to leave them, but it's getting so hard to deal with this, that I'm really considering. I love my wifr and we get along so great ( as long as I follow the rules), but it's just ridiculous where we are at now. She has her own way of thinking which is totaly oposite to mine or basically to anyone I know. her view is I can not think anyone is attractive, I can't say anyone is cute, sexy, good looking or anything like that, and when I say anyone I mean Women, kids, cars or things ( i swera to god I'm not exageration) I desperately need advise on this. How can I make her ease up on this without having to leave her.
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (12 October 2010):
 You should put your foot down about the counseling. Since there are kids involved and since this is such a long marriage, it would be a shame to just walk away from one issue. You need to tell her that if she doesn't agree to counseling/get some help about this you're leaving because you can't take it anymore.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (12 October 2010):
This is madness. You need to be firm about this, once and for all. Your kids will be growing up in a house and learning this behaviour. So they will either wind up like her, always jealous and paranoid, or you where they allow jealous and paranoid people to control them. This isn't even your problem. It's HERS. You've put up with a lot of crap, and suggested counselling. Either she gets help, or you walk and that's it. I don't know what happened to her, but she has NO right to behave this way with you. The time has come for you to stand firm. And if you're worried about leaving your kids, get some recordings and say she's mentally unstable - which she is. You're a decent guy, so do the right thing for your kids and yourself, and give her an ultimatum. It may cost your marriage, but you don't want to be a doormat and you don't want your kids to think this is natural behaviour.
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