A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:So, I have written an article like this previously, but I feel like I need to revisit this issue, because nothing has really gotten better, and this 'craving' I am feeling towards my teacher has increased at a very excessive rate. I will re-explain my situation to those who have not read my previous post. First, let me clarify the fact that I am 15, and he is about 34 and I do not yet have him as a teacher. He is also a flirt, and sometimes odd and un-readable, which makes me want to approach him, and figure him out. And he responds very well to flirting. The majority of the teachers at my school are flirts - both males and females. Some teachers however, flirt more than others. One teacher in particular, caught my attention. Many would describe him as cool but weird, he just had this 'thing' about him, he made conversations odd, and sometimes you question his actions. You usually can't just walk up to him and start casual small talk, it just didn't feel right, but anyways that was him. But then, I noticed I caught his attention, his focus frequently, I found this a coincidence at first, but now, not so much. Let me elaborate....Every time I walk by him, he stares at me. But it isn't just a casual stare, it's a seductive, suggestive stare. Occasionally, I will ask him what he is looking at, and he looks me up and down and casually responds, "Nothing, just looking." This may seem harmless, but it happens frequently. I will be walking, and when I walk by him, he is close enough to me that I brush against him and he just looks down at me and smiles. I also have a class across from his, and he just looks in at me smiles and stares, and my friends have been noticing as well. I'm very good at reading people, or so I've been told, so I have a feeling he is attracted to me. On one occasion, I was in his room alone, interviewing him for a newspaper article and I asked him a question and he responded suggestively. "My hands are just so big, and this keyboard is so small..." while he looked in my eyes, as if looking for a reaction.On another occasion, I was texting a guy friend of mine and he was like, "Guess what I'm doing? Sitting in Mr____'s car, and we're talking about you." Odd? I presume so. This friend of mine said that every time MR____ stated my name, the look he got on his face, and the tone he spoke with creeped him out, because, as my friend describe it, was a - I want her, bad- look. Other friends have suggested the same thing. The real problem developing however, is the fact that lately, I've found myself 'longing' for his touch, love and affection. Before, it bothered me, but now it turns me on. I've noticed myself staring into his eyes for seconds, keeping direct eye contact when we speak, walking by his room just to get his attention, to see him give me that 'look.' He's been in my dreams, my fantasy's, and honestly, I don't know what do to. I don't know why I have developed this attraction to this man, older men in general, but I have to know - one, is he interested in me, or is this just an overreacting teen - two, what should I do, and what triggers these attractions to older men? Also, if he made a move on me, I'm afraid I would welcome his action. Please help. Please don't inform me how this relationship would never happen, he is a teacher, he wouldn't endanger his job, for I've heard it. I understand that many will describe this as a 'crush' and must get over it, but for some reason, I feel as though this predicament I've gotten myself into will not just go away. Thank you to all who take the time to read this and answer this honestly.
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flirt, move on, my teacher, older men, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, weepingwillow  +, writes (7 May 2010):
Hey, well to answer your question, yes it does sound as though he is attracted to you. He's obviously trying to send you 'signals' and more than likely gets a kick out of knowing that he gets under your skin. However, most of what you're feeling is probably infatuation. A cool, smart, confident older man is paying you so much attention, of course you feel flattered! Just try to remember that you're only 15 and that if you are meant to have a relationship with this man you will have one after you leave school.
As to what to do, my suggestion would be to avoid going to areas in the school where he usually is, don't look at him and keep so busy that you have very little time to think about him. If you still feel the same way after school, then think about having a relationship.
As to what triggers these attractions to older men, I think its mainly because they're more mature and self-assured than most teenage boys. They have had more life experience and I guess because they are more unattainable it adds a certain sense of alluring excitement.
I know that its really hard to deal with right now, believe me, I have such strong feelings for one of my own teachers (I'm 18 he is 30) and its really messing me up as he can be so sweet and funny. I myself though am now really trying to forget him after one of my friends asked me if there was something going on between us as we spent so much time together! Its really difficult though:( So best of luck and I hope everything turns out ok for you:)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2010): There is nothing anybody on this site can say to make you change your mind, but I want to try.It's a very simple story this one. You like a teacher, he flirts with you (I'm not denying that because I know it happens!) And that makes you like him more, until you get to such a point that you desire him to much that all rational thought goes out the window.The facts are simple. The real question is, do you want to do something about it?I get from your answer that you do, and that you suspect deep down that he won't reject your advances. So great, there we are, an affair ensues. It's all excitement and secrets, and sex.Then somebody finds out, somebody else tells the head teacher.Next thing you know your sat in an office have to explain your sex life to an old man/woman. You'd be asked to leave the school. Your teacher would most likely be arrested. Depending on circumstances, it could reach the news. Your parents will be ashamed.And you'll all live happily ever after.Now bearing in mind that this is a completely hypothetical situation. It COULD happen. Do you even want to take the chance? Just for a bit of sex.Wait until you're 16+ and have the left the school he works in. If he's still interested there is waaay less to loose.Just think it through.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (25 April 2010):
 A relationship would never happen and yes he would endanger his job. The feeling will go away. In normal relationships the infatuation period lasts for 18 months and it turns to companionship. He's messing you up. He keeps on triggering your sexual tension while he's not supposed to touch you, so you get frustrated time and time again. The more hot and flustered you become, the more excited he is. Talk about being sadistic. You probably hear this again and again. I am going to repeat it. Find guys your own age and tell your friends, family who you are dating.
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