A
female
age
51-59,
*lue7
writes:I'm a 46 year old woman with a 17 year old son. Whenever his friend comes over he always stares at my boobs. No matter what i'm wearing or if im showing cleavage or not he still stares at them. Should I say something to him when he does this or ignore it?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2011): You should absolutely say something to him.
This behaviour is rude in the extreme and the fact that he does it so obviously suggests a considerable lack of respect for both you and your son. I'm guessing you're a single mum because young men don't usually act like this when there is a husband on premises.
I'm not sure what kind of relationship you have with your son's friends (male and female alike) but if your style is more laid back then I suggest being more formal. I'm not suggesting you brought this on yourself. You didn't, but you know the saying 'high fences make good neighbours'. Familiarity emboldens some people to take liberties, which your son's friednd is clearly doing.
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (3 May 2011):
 You are not eye candy. You shouldn't feel embarrassed because he's acting inappropriately. Next time he's over just say exactly what ChiGirl said to say. Just because you have breasts doesn't mean you're required to be on display 24/7.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2011): It's rude to gawk, and you'd probably be doing him a favour if you said something about it, unless you genuinely enjoy the attention, and it sounds as if you don't.
At the same time, he's a horny 17-year-old boy and the assumption will generally be made that, if you're displaying cleavage, it's because you want people to see it. If you are the sort of 46-year-old woman who loves to bounce around the place like an extra from 'Bikini B-Movie Drive-In' you can't realistically cry foul when boys stare at your tits. And trust me, if you do, it embarrasses your son no end.
Not suggesting that you are, of course. Certainly if it's freaking you out, you should tell him to stop.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (2 May 2011):
 "Hey, eyes, up here!"
That's what you say and hopefully shame him into being decent.
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A
female
reader, Gherkinsaregrim  +, writes (2 May 2011):
I would make a sort of sly comment. It will be embarrassing for him either way if you tell him but it can be really horrible when someone ogles you! it's so awkward and feels so pervy sometimes.I think dirtballs suggested comment is probably the best one.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (2 May 2011):
 Call him out on it. Absolutely. He needs to know that you've noticed and don't appreciate it. You can choose to be descrete, or you can embarass him about it, that's up to you. Having been a teen boy once, I think embarassing him about this one is the way to go. "Excuse me, my eyes are up here junior" would likely do the trick.
At least you know he finds you attractive. Ahhh, silly boys.
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A
female
reader, ArtsyGirl +, writes (2 May 2011):
If I were you I would tell my son about it and ask him to tell him. If he says no and you're still uncomfortable I would call your sons parents(assuming they are respectable or he has parents) and ask them. If all else fails I wouldn't ignore it and address the young man. On the other hand if you don't want to address him or it doesn't bother you to the point of annoyance/anger then just try to avoid him when he comes around.Hope that helps :)Cheers
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