A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:my son is bullying his pregnant girlfriend, she is always upset because of what he is doing, i dont know what to do, i was with his abusive father for 2o years and my own head is messed up. my son always said he would never be like his father but it is happening and i really dont know what to do, its getting me really down seeing his girlfriend so upset and she comes from a lovely family and they like my son but i cant see them doing for long. what can i do, my son lives with me and his girlfriend stays some nights but goes home on others? he is nearly 18. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (20 August 2008):
 Hi,
he is lucky he has a mother like you. But his father's influence is there for all to see. This just demonstrates why women should never expose their children to abuse.
But you can't change the past, he can however change the future.
He is 18 and going to be a father, good grief , it looks like he has got himself into a right old mess already.
But you have to get him into counselling, he needs to find the trigger points which lead him to mimick his father's behaviour. All is not lost, but unless he seeks help he will become just like his dad - a monster.
Good luck, but you need to be firm and strong with him, not provide a shoulder to cry on when he lapses into this appalling behaviour, there should be no sympathy for men who abuse women no matter what their background and even if he is your son.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (20 August 2008):
 Get him into an anger management course pronto!
We dont have to turn out like our folks. Its a choice.
He obviously has some deep routed unaddressed issues doesn't he. You sound like a lovely mum, and i hope you get this sorted what with a grandchild on the way.
Good luck.
C xxxx
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