A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyoneMy problem is my younger sister. She is 16 at the minute and turns 17 on the 1st of january. The problem is is that she won't stop stealing from me. She steals money, clothes, makeup, shaving razors, beauty products..basically everything nice that I buy for myself. It's gotten so bad that my dad put a padlock on my door. This stopped it for a while but now I can't even go to the bathroom next door without locking my door and carrying my keys. At the minute she is stealing my underwear. She takes it out of the dryer. I do my own washing and drying and ironing and she catches it when I'm not checking on it. It's really upsetting to me as I work hard for the nice things I have. All my underwear is for my boyfriend. I wear nice underwear for him but she is always taking them. When she takes them I just don't want to wear them anymore. She doesn't work because she is born idle so takes things from other people because she can't buy them herself. She does get spending money from my mum but she just blows all her money on cigarettes and god knows what else.Am I being silly here? I get really upset when I see a pair of my underwear dirty on her bedroom floor. When I ask her about it she just says that she couldn't find a pair of hers that she liked so she took a pair of mine. She just doesn't care and my mum lets her get away with it. My dad works away offshore so he can't be here to tell her whats she doing wrong but she wouldn't listen anyway.When I do confront her about it she says that she always sees me wearing her underwear and this is so untrue its unbelievable. All my underwear is brand new and has been seen by my boyfriend so he would know if what I was wearing was someone elses. She seems to have convinced herself that I wear hers too and she even specifically talks about certain pairs of knickers. She is completely insane!I really am cracking up here as I can't have anything for myself. I work really hard for the nice things I have and she does nothing for anything she has. Does anyone have any ideas on what I can do or is anyone going through the same thing as me? Personally I think wearing someone elses underwear is absolutely disgusting unless its your partners. Do you agree?
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female
reader, agentrex  +, writes (30 April 2008):
omg i know how you feel im 18and my dads girlfriend is 15 and does this too meshe isnt even my own bloodits disgustingi have had to throw away almost all my undies like 423897349875 times...its doesnt stop there either she steals every thing from chocolate bars that my boyfriend buys me to be sweet to m7y clothes and money mind you this girl is 4 sizes bigger than me and stretches things out =/and when i catch her its always oh i didnt know this was yoursyeah because it wasnt located in my room or anything dumb@$$ or oh so and so just poped up with it im sorry i didnt know bull.but i cant even put a lock on my doors because you enter my room through a sliding glass door.she always waits until no one around or everyone is slepping to do it toi mean she is on probation for stealing from beals and her mother has no problem with it and lets her go out and smoke and drinkand she is only 15 and been with 6 guys in the past monththats why i throw my undies away.she even asked me what i would do if she tried to get with my bfwhore much.and when i catch her stealing from me her mother does nothing mean while my dad is like wtfwhy arent you doing anything about your kidthen they start fighting.i cant leave my house because of her but i also cant stand to be here because of her. needles to say a lot of my stuff comes up missing =/ sorry for ranting by the way
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2008): i also have a little sister who likes to swap clothes of mine due to the fact that we are both size a size 12 and a 34C bra but even thow we are the same zize in the underweaar department i would kill her if she even dare wear my underwear 1 because as you say their is something a girl should have for herself and 2 having a sister that shares underwear is just wrong io thing u really need to sort this problem out
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2008): Your so right! And i know exactly what you mean. My sister always does this. And it makes me feel invaded because everything she took from me is in my room. And whats the point of even having a room if your sister is stealing stuff from it anyway, right? If i was you i would go up to her when she isnt busy and tell her everything your feeling. And maybe steal her stuff once in a while and leaving her stuff in random places around the house. I did this with my sister and it worked. It didnt work right away, but if you keep reminding her how you feel she'll get the picture. I hope i helped. And good lucky.-M.
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A
female
reader, kargrav6 +, writes (31 December 2007):
Well for one your right she needs to stop taking things from you. I don’t want to call her a thong thief but wow. From my guess she probably likes the kind if "sexy underwear" you buy... she's probably to embarrass to go to a store and buy her own. Girls her age usually don't like buying thongs, bras, Midol, pads nor tampons, don't embraces her any more next time you go to buy some underwear ask her if she'd like you to pick her up some lady lingerie even if she says no get her some anyway, she'll have her own so she'll leave your shit alone. Then buy a small box w/ a lock to keep personals love letters, razors, special makeup, rings kinda like a vanity box you go into the bathroom its small enough to travel w/ you. Let her know that she can borrow things from you just not personals make sure she knows she must ask first and return the item in reasonable timing and in the same condition it was when she first got it. And you can limit her to only borrowing certain belongings and only a number at a time i.e. only 2 shirts at a time. It's important to share with her but also she needs limits. I know both sides I have 9 sis and bros.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2007): you are totally right. Rock on girl!!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2007): So, I have a sister just like yours. She steals my stuff all the time and my mother does nothing about it. Shesays it her friends when i catch her with anything of mine. I have yelled at her stolen her things to show her how it feels to not have something you want to wear. Nothing has worked for me. I am 1 and my sister is 15. Let me know if you figure something out that works.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2007): i am a 14 year old girl and cant afford expensive underwear, but my older sister who has a good job lets me wear hers, but we are very close, its certainly not disgusting.
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A
female
reader, Fade878  +, writes (8 November 2007):
 I meant in your room insteand of home. YOu have the padlock so use it. Is there a way bf would help you buy one of those apartment dryers?
Still hand wash but keep apartment dryer in your room.
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A
female
reader, Fade878 +, writes (8 November 2007):
Ask him for help. Ask him. Don't be prideful. Tell them your family is abusive emotionally, mentally and unreasonable and it is draining you. Ask if he or his family will help you break from this abuse and trauma.
Ask if he can keep his ears open for possible rooming situations.
You may have to just ask him to keep your undies there at his place of safe keeping. And keep standard cotton ones at home.
There are options. Just keep your mind and ears open to them.
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A
female
reader, Fade878 +, writes (8 November 2007):
As a mother of two teens myself I have to say your Mother needs a slap upside the head.
I run the house and not one daughter or the other. With hard work, rules, and consequences for behaviour that did not uphold the family mottos of: Family first. Love one another and kindness begets kindness.
I do not let such contentions destroy my family. I would be heartbroken if one of my daughters came to me with your very same concern.
Mom has power to effect lives-to bring happiness and peace into the home.
Do you see where you sister gets it from? She is like your Mother, self indulgent, self serving.
One) Be glad you are not like them. You have respect and rules and standards to live by that will see you through a happy and successful life.
Two) You see the problem and it does not orginate from you.
Three) Maybe start hand washing them and air drying them in your home.
Four) Start billing your Mother for the loss of undies. Start keeping receipts for what you buy, take a polaroid when it is purchased with the receipt in the picture. Have a reliable and trustworthy adult that will verify the picture and who will testify of the accuracy of the picture, date, and cost. You will need this for getting all the money back from Mom and Sister. Tell your Mother that your sister is causing so much contention in the home and Mom is the adult, parent. If she can't do her job, you have no choice to go to the courts to get your money back.
It seems harsh but civil courts are for such matters. Sister will be an adult soon and have to start paying rent and will need a job to pay that. You'll get your money eventually.
In Canada, you renew a civil action every two years to kee the judgement alive. The judgement is good for ten years.
Five) You could ask for a mediator or social worker to come into the home to address this criminal behaviour. Theft is still Theft.
You sure you don't have a trusted Aunt, cousin to room with? What about nearby housing? Roommates?
Another year of this disrespect from sister, and emotional abuse as well from her and Mom- Mom is neglecting her responsibilities.
I feel for you kid.
What does Dad say? I am sure Dad can say...for the loss of moneny, YOU do not have to pay rent for the next four months. That would teach them both. If you get kicked out-sue Mom for breach of contract. You are paying rent under contract and she cant' kick you out for having Dad's authority.
Sounds like a mess but...it's a means to an end.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI just went back downstairs after I posted that last comment and my mum shouted for my dad to sort his daughters out. Basically I got a bollocking for even suggesting that they pay for me to use the laundrette and then I got a further bollocking as they screamed at me "what do you want me to do about it?" my sister never does anything she is told and they've accepted this. I hate being at home but when I go over to my boyfriends house I get into trouble for not spending time with them. We are so disfunctional. I love my boyfriends family. He has a little sister and she is a just a normal teen and his parents are lovely and when they argue its over the tv programme thats on, not whats been stolen or the latest phone bill. I really don't know what to do but I can't take much more of this.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMy dad came home tonight from his big trip and I saw my sister was wearing some of my underwear. I asked her what underwear she was wearing and she smirked and walked out of the room. I went after her and sure enough I saw she had mine on. I asked her how the hell she got it, and she said that she took it from my clean laundry. I couldn't believe it. It's gotten to the stage now that I can't even wash my clothes! I was so upset. I screamed at her that I pay £30 a week rent and I wash and dry my own clothes and she does nothing at all and she gets away with it.
I would never want to wear any of her underwear or clothes because they don't belong to her. She borrows a lot of her friends clothes and then she ends up wearing them all the time. Plus my sister is a bit of a whore and I would rather die than wear them as I would probably catch something.
Whenever I shout about this my mum just goes oh not again and she says nothing. I ask her why she doesn't do anything and she says what can she do? She says she can't do anything.
Tonight we were all talking about my sisters new boyfriend and my sister started slagging mine off. Saying that at least her boyfriend has a six pack, and doesn't look gay. I was so hurt by this but my mum was just laughing on the sofa saying that she was just winding me up. She kept really saying awful things about my gorgeous boyfriend and it really upset me but I was just being "wound up" apparently.
Theres not even a chance of me moving out until next september and even then I don't know if I can afford it.
Help guys. She's such an awful person I just don't know what to do. She turns 17 on jan 1st but she acts like a 12 year old.
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A
male
reader, Asexy +, writes (7 November 2007):
 Ask your bf for a drawer at his place; keep the sexy stuff there. Buy some granny underwear and keep it at your place.
And I'm with A Cappella -- start dumping her stuff on the floor after you've kept it for a while. When she complains, you can innocently say "Oh, you were wearing my stuff, so I thought we were sharing."
It does knock you off the high road, but maybe she'll get the point when HER stuff goes missing...
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A
female
reader, A Cappella + ♥, writes (7 November 2007):
 You're not crazy; you have a legitimate complaint. I can't believe your Mom is doing nothing about it -- no wonder your sister does this (she gets away with it!)
When my step-sister began stealing stuff from my sister, she bought a safe and started keeping it there. But you've already got a lock on your door, so that's not going to help.
The only thing I think you can do is to say at dinner, so that there's no mistake, that since everything in the house is community property, you're going to start using your sister's stuff too. Then go through her closet/jewelry box and get her stuff. (Don't actually wear it; just put it in a drawer in your locked room so she doesn't have access to it when she wants it.) Do this a lot. Be ruthless. If/when you "return" it, make sure it ends up on her floor.
Maybe when she gets a taste of her own medicine, she'll stop.
In the meantime, keep everything behind your locked door and start doing your laundry at a public laundromat. And save to move out.
Good luck hon.
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A
female
reader, samohir  +, writes (6 November 2007):
 Why dont you try to speak to her and if she wants a pair of nice underwear maybe Buy it so she would stop...
Seems she is bit jelaous of you
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A
female
reader, Fade878 +, writes (6 November 2007):
Hmm. Would BF help you by letting you do laundry at his place? This way you get to keep the sexy undies?
It's unfortunate that Mom is no support at all and this allows for younger sis to be disrespectful and self serving. Younger Sis is going to have relationship troubles if she thinks that other people are put on the Earth to use and abuse.
Shame on Mom.
How close are you to being independant? Moving out? Roommates with other trusted, family members or friends?
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A
female
reader, Fade878 +, writes (6 November 2007):
You need to get the receipts of your underwear and tell dad she needs to pay for the stolen underwear.
Maybe this will teach her to get off her duff and get a job and buy her own things.
Unless Dad wants to pay for you to do your laundry at a trusted friends, or family member's home or for drycleaning.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2007): I have a sister, couple years diffence. We do steal the odd things from each other,had big arguments over it but nothing this bad! If I did that to my older sister she would properly hit me! You need to yell at her, get through to her somehow, tell her its disgusting she wants to wear your knickers!
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A
female
reader, nadia_luvhurts  +, writes (6 November 2007):
omg!! ur sister is totally annoying!! dya know wat i wud probably do in dis situation?? myb i'd do the same thing to her.. or else, i dunno.. but please.. do sumting dude.. u can't just giv up to dat brat..
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