A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:When do u reach ur Sexual Peak? Im a women in her 30s. I dnt knw why but my Sex drive has gone dwn. My partner is 7 yrs older then me. We have been together for 8 years. In the beginning sex was GREAT! But over the years it has fallen dwn and got less exciting. i feel like its a "CHORE" now just to have Sex to please my man. Am i wrong for feeling this way? Any advice wud be much apprciated. THANX
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female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (12 January 2012):
 It's very common.
Loss of libido can because by hormonal fluctuations, stress, depression, or from repeatably boring sex.
What else in the relationship/life is not making you happy? Because that can spill over into your sex life.
If everything is fine, no stress, no depression, I would go have a well woman check up with your GP/Gyno. Get your thyroid and hormonal level check out.
A
female
reader, Ciar  + ♥, writes (12 January 2012):
 This feeling is far more common than you think and it has nothing to do with biology.
The reason it feels like a chore is because it is a chore if your own wants and needs aren't being met in bed and in the relationship. I'm guessing sex isn't the only thing you agree to just to please your partner.
Take a step back and imagine the life you always wanted to have. Does what you have now measure up? What changes can be made, in and out of the bedroom?
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (12 January 2012):
 Have you recently started a new form of contraception? Different hormonal contraceptives can make your sex drive fluctuate.
Other than that, perhaps you could try to take some time off the sex and give it a break and see how you feel? There needs to be sex in a relationship, because of both emotional and physical needs as well as a bonding experience. However sex shouldn't be forced or a chore, because then it is associated with something negative, which will make it worse and worse. There needs to be a middle ground though, when sex has become a chore. On one hand you still need to have sex to keep the relationship going, on the other hand you shouldn't have sex if you aren't in the mood for it.
Could you try to variate it? Plan in advance with your partner how things are and what you will do each time you have sex. One way to approach this could be to for example reduce sex to once every other week and then plan what activity you will do then. Stick to one theme, or one activity at a time. The first time you can receive oral for example. Nothing else. The next you give him a blowjob and nothing else. Next you can touch each other, the time after that perhaps you can change location and cuddle under a blanket while watching a movie, naked together. Sex doesn't have to be about orgasms, it can also be about closeness and intimacy. You and him decide together what you want to do and what sounds nice to the both of you. Maybe you can have turns deciding what to do.
Make it something you actually want or genuinely could be interested in. And stick to it, don't give up if you aren't feeling all excited about it at first. If you and your partner make a plan on how to approach your sex life, no matter what plan, then you need to stick to it for a good while, because results can take time to show.
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