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My partner has a problem with me keeping a single, small picture of my late husband in my apartment

Tagged as: Big Questions, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 March 2021) 4 Answers - (Newest, 29 March 2021)
A female Germany age 51-59, anonymous writes:

Dear cupid and everyone, i just wanna ask something. Is it really that bad to honor your late husband with just one Single little picture of him in your own apartment just for a respect?

Beside you and your new Partner are not living in your apartment. Meaning to say, your apartment is just there but you only come home, maybe 2x a month just to check on your plants and clean a little bit. Then you go back to the house of your Partner to live together.

Because this is always and i guess forever gonna be the huge problem of me and my stupid narrow minded Partner. I am soooooooooo tired of this issue. This is already nearly 6 years.....

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (29 March 2021):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntI would find it insulting and controlling if a new partner was trying to rewrite my past. I have photographs of most of my previous boyfriends and my partner has absolutely no issue with this, but then he is neither stupid nor narrow minded and realizes they are only pictures and that I keep them because they are part of my past, just as I keep other things which are part of my past.

Do you really want to be with this man or are you with him because it's better than being alone?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2021):

I have seen this before.Your boyfriend is jealous of a ghost.You might as well break up now as this will get worse.It is controlling and unhealty.Even if you get rid of your late husband's picture his jealousy will never go away because you cannot change your past.Just end it with him now move back home.After you do that think about why you would let anyone treat you this way.Get some therapy so you can realize you are so much better than this.Because you are.Something is just wrong with him....not your fault...his fault.Move on.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (29 March 2021):

Honeypie agony auntWhy are you with him if he is so stupid and narrow-minded?

I don't think you OWE it to a new partner to erase your last husband from your life totally. After all, you are you because of the experiences you had with your husband. Your husband is a part of your past, always will be.

If you have been together for 6 years and it's still a big problem for him, then obviously this is not something you two will ever agree on. I think he is right in his opinion, his feelings but SO are you. Is it because he thinks if you give up your apartment and live full time with him, you will want that picture in your shared home?

Maybe it's time to stay at your own place a bit, give him room to think this relationship over. And yourself.

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (29 March 2021):

kenny agony auntI don't think there is anything wring with this, and he needs to get over this and stop being so narrow minded.

The small picture of your late husband is in an apartment that neither of you even reside at, but you only go there a couple of times a month to check plants etc, so he probably hardly even goes there anyway.

No there is nothing wrong with this, and your partner needs to stop being so stupid and get over this.

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