A
female
age
30-35,
*unigirl53
writes:Hi Im 29 years old. My partner of 7 years is 45.Our sex was great at the beginning but as we got older it started to stop he wouldn't even do foreplay.I cheated on him once and told him i was pregnant with another man's baby. I only did it because i wanted someone to please me and we are still together to this day but I feel i may stray again but I don't want to because I want him to please me because in all the time ive been sexually active which was when i turned 18 he is the only one who has got me to orgasm 3 times in one hit and i loved every moment of it.What should i do?
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female
reader, Queeny +, writes (12 June 2008):
 Age here is not the problem and the problem here is not that your man doesn't love or care for you. the problem is you.. he is probably not getting interested in your sexual satisfaction becoz you are getting it else where and you even confess that to him. you are the problem here... sort yourself out first.
A
male
reader, oldfool  +, writes (11 June 2008):
 45 is not old and he should have a lot of mileage in him yet. So age isn't really the decisive factor.
The problem is that he's not satisfying you sexually any more. This is something that happens in a lot of relationships, which is why there are so many books and articles about spicing up one's (married) sex life. So instead of having flings and talking about getting pregnant with other men's babies, why don't you do something positive about improving your sex life with him?
As for your fear of having more flings, well, if that's your way of dealing with it then you're not the kind of girlfriend that a lot of men would like to have. It says more about you than about him.
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A
male
reader, q1605  +, writes (11 June 2008):
 And calling him your "older boyfriend" just because he is 45 is a cheap shot and hitting way below the belt
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2008): Do you love this man?
I mean are you with him for the sex, or for comfort or for love?
It sounds as if he really loves you, even after what you have done in the past, vow, not many guys will put up with that.
I suggest you talk to him, and try and resolve your sexual frustrations.
If there is no way to resolve your problems, or if you are with him for the wrong reasons, move on!
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A
male
reader, q1605 +, writes (11 June 2008):
So you have been with this guy since you were 22. Have you thought about going it alone for a few years. It sounds like your maturity stopped progressing when you hooked up with this guy. You use the threat of becoming involved with another man to get what you want. Why not ask him to slow down and take more time in foreplay. And you are blaming your cheating on external forces. "I feel I may stray again, but I don't want to. Because I want him to please me." If you don't want to cheat,don't cheat. If he doesn't do it for you break up and seek what you are looking for else where. For you to cheat on him is a deal breaker but then to tell him you got pregnant. And I guess we are to assume that you weren't but until that point was obvious were you suggesting it was from the hook up with the other guy? You need to take some ownership of the responsibility of providing what you need in life. You can get what you need from other people without resorting to manipulation. Most people would like their partner to be happy and fulfilled in the relationship. And its not some elusive clandestine goal to achieve by lies and manipulation. Try some honest communication about what you desire and how you two might go about achieving this goal. I get the feeling you don't have a grasp on how wrong some of the things you mention are. That sort of manipulation is closing in on traits associated with a personality disorder. Don't read to much into that, other than that most people would consider what you did unthinkable. Grow up, get some accountability, take ownership of providing for your needs in an adult, mature manner, and think about living some life independent of a man, and outside of a relationship, until you can approach like on your own terms. As opposed to defining yourself and your interface with life viewed through the lens of a relationship and how this relationship skews your perceptions.
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