A
female
age
26-29,
*uli
writes:I fell in love with this guy that changed my entire life! he made me believe my dreams were going to come true he made me the happiest girl in the world hes something god brought me!(tears) he loved me too I felt it deep in my heart !we lasted 8 months until something bad happend my mother decided to seperated us and her decision was made she wanted to hurt us because I was going to get pregnant and she found out so she said "you seperated me and my husband so im going to do payback"! Nothing was my fault with my moms and her husbands relationship! Well that night that I got home I cried so much cause I knew I wasnt going to see him anymore well its been 1 year in a half that I hadnt seen him but we talk to each other on the phone and he wants me to go see him but i dont go because when I was with him I was skinny and now I gained weight and he dont want fat girls he told me that before he took everything of me my virginity everything my love life can any one help me with my situation please and thank you? should I go see him?girls he had told me that before so I dont know what to do like I said I cant forget about him and its been a year I love him other guys come in my way but its not the same he took everything of mine he took my virginity I did everything for him!i need help with my situation please and thank you!
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female
reader, yuli +, writes (19 May 2011):
yuli is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMy father is in chicago and what you mean about my father.
A
male
reader, mdw  +, writes (19 May 2011):
where is your father? is it possible you are trying to look for father figure in this guy? how old was this man?
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A
female
reader, yuli +, writes (18 May 2011):
yuli is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell idk.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (18 May 2011):
 And you believe them? Really?
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A
female
reader, yuli +, writes (18 May 2011):
yuli is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell they tell me that its not that hard..
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (18 May 2011):
And how is that working out for them?
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (18 May 2011):
Do you have many friends with babies?
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A
female
reader, yuli +, writes (17 May 2011):
yuli is verified as being by the original poster of the questionKinda cause I fell in love with him
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A
female
reader, yuli +, writes (17 May 2011):
yuli is verified as being by the original poster of the questionKinda cause I fell in love with him
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (17 May 2011):
And you thought that was a good idea.
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A
female
reader, yuli +, writes (17 May 2011):
yuli is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeap at age 14 ina half
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (17 May 2011):
When you say "I was going to get pregnant," what do you mean, exactly? Were you trying to get pregnant at age 14?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2011): Google 'statutory rape' and 'age of consent'.
OP you're not making a very convincing argument as to why this is a good idea at all.
Those two above things are very basic things and you don't seem to understand them. Depending on your state then he could be classed as a sex offender for that.
Do what you feel is right for your long term future.
"How do I forget about him then?" If you really want to get over him then you cut him out of your life. How do you expect to forget someone when you're always talking to them on the phone? How does that make sense to you?
"i cant find better guys" Of course you can't, you're still stuck in an emotional relationship with this one. What other guy is going to stand a chance a with you.
OP if you won't listen to your mother then perhaps you need to go see a professional about this. There are a lots of things about your situation that are all wrong and forgive me for saying this but you seem as naive as a pre-teen. You really need to go get outside help, none of what you're saying to us makes any logical sense at all. I'm not trying to be harsh OP, please don't think I'm trying to offend you I'm not, but you really don't seem to have any understanding of how to be safe and mature in a relationship. Nothing you have said so far leads me believe to you have the emotional skill set nor the knowledge to make the right decisions in this. You need to go see a counselor or something, because you're not listening to your mom. You say it hurts to still have him around because you can't get over him, yet you're the one who stays in contact with him. Get some help, get educated on how a mature relationship is supposed to work.
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A
female
reader, yuli +, writes (17 May 2011):
yuli is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHow do I forget about him then?i cant find better guys then him my mom sees how hurt I am she tells me "go see him"maybe you will be happy I feel like I am.and no he nevered raped me ever I was 14 and he was 16 we try to have sex.i mite make my decision and see him in 3 months im doing this...
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A
female
reader, yuli +, writes (17 May 2011):
yuli is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHow do I forget about him then? i cant find better guys then him my mom sees how hurt I am she tells me "go see him" maybe you will be happy I feel like I am.and no he nevered raped me ever I was 14 and he was 16 we try to have sex.i mite make my decision and see him in 3 months im doing this...
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2011): No offence OP but you're no way near ready to have a relationship at all. Look at all the crazy decisions you've made just for this guy.He statutory raped you and you actually thought it was a good idea to get pregnant too. Now you won't let go of him because you still call him all the time and you wonder why you can't get over him?Now all you're worried about is whether he won't like you because you've gained weight?Very bad things are going to happen if you keep this up OP. If you want to have any kind of good future then you'll take a step back and get rid of this guy from your life.You're headed on a bad road of stupid decisions and spending your lifetime living with the consequences. If this guy is an adult 18+ the that's even worse because he's a total idiot.You need to take a long hard look at your life OP, because you're making it one of those stories you see on Maury, a teen that thought she was an adult, getting pregnant young and then wondering why her life has gone all wrong.Don't be another statistic. Sit up and take control of your life and start living it with some sense. Listen to your mother, she's only trying to protect you. She's the one you should ask if it's a good idea to see him again and if you think her answer will be a big fat "no" then she may have a point that you have to consider.Most of all start seeing sense, read what you just told us, does it really make any sense?A teenager, statutory raped probably by an older guy, who wants to have a baby without any means to support it but just because she's in love and thinks a baby would be a perfect little gift. A teenager who talks to her ex on the phone all the time behind her mothers back and wonders why she still hasn't gotten over him and one that now wants to start all this shit again and the only thing that's holding her back is whether he will find her too fat or not?Really now. You're nowhere near mature enough to handle this and not make such horrible decisions. You need to get rid of him, and enjoy being young. You have a hell of a lot to learn about life before you even consider this kind of thing, because at the moment you just don't have a clue.Forgive me OP,I'm not trying to be hurtful and I know I'm being very insensitive but someone needs to slap you in the face and tell you to wake up before you destroy your life and your future over this delusional fantasy you live in.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (17 May 2011):
 You are contraddicting yourself. You say that your mom lets you do all you want, but in fact she does not, she separated you from this boy and prevented you from seeing him.
That , IMO, means A) that she does not want you to be with this boy so she would not be happy knowing that you are with him B) that when your mom is not happy about something, she CAN stop you from doing it.
I have a problem with the timing too. Since your separation happened one and a half year ago, that means you were AT MOST 15 and 1/2 . Probably less.
Your mom "separeted" you because she found out you were going to get pregnant- which I take to mean, having unprotected sex and tryng to conceive.
If I had been your mom, I would have "separated ".... his head from his neck for sure. Maybe yours too, according whose was the brilliant idea.
Don't push your luck.
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female
reader, yuli +, writes (17 May 2011):
yuli is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI cant forget about him its hard I love him!and no my mom wont ground me she lets me do what I want but I need some one to help me with my situation I was skinney and now im fat but I want to go see him but im too shy what should I do?please help I dont care what my mom says I love him!
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (17 May 2011):
Hi there. Perhaps with a teenager in the house, your mother's husband couldn't handle it, and it ended of it's own accord.
You can't do anything about that.
Now regards your boyfriend, it's not advisable to go behind your mother's back and see him, because then you'll probably be grounded! Till you're 25!
Are you both still in school? If you are, well then you can probably see each other every day.
If not, well you are limited.
In any case, at the moment your studies should come first.
Also, he was your first boyfriend, and they can often be rather special. That won't change.
You need to think about other things, do interesting fun stuff with your friends, and forget about him and forget about having a boyfriend for a while. Let the dust settle and start living life a bit more.
You will eventually get over the upset you are feeling now. It just takes some time.
For the time being, you need to distract yourself.
The busier you keep yourself, the less time you have to mope around feeling miserable and thinking about him.
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