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My married lover wanted to be with his wife again, how can I deal?

Tagged as: Family, Forbidden love, Marriage problems<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 May 2006) 1 Answers - (Newest, 9 May 2006)
A female , anonymous writes:

Hi. married for 19 years..un happy no sex no relation with my husban met this married man and he is the love of my life my first , last and only love ever liked and loved everything about. had four year relation full of happiness and love shared everything we were soulmates without hurting any one else in ourlives, now he wanted to be close again to his wife and this is killing me we decided to keep on being friends cause i cant tolerate being with him while he wants to be close to his wife .. Im so hurt I feel as if he dumped me he didnt even negotiate my decision .. what can i do how can i forget him .. he lives next to us and we are family frineds so we see them each day nearly .. pls help I so depressed and hurt no one can feel my pain ? pls help ( im 40 yrs)

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2006):

Hi there,

I am in a similar situation with a married woman. She has a sexless loveless marriage (no children) and I am single. I am 32 and this is the first time I have been in love after going out with quite a few females. I have been seeing her for 4 months now and she does want to leave her husband (or so I thought but not really sure now).

Things seemed to have cooled off a bit and I am absolutely head over heels in love with her, but because I don't really know how she feels about me know (I did about a month back) I can't sleep properly, can't eat and my heart won't stop pounding and I am smoking about 40 cigarettes. I can't concentrate on anything. Normally I am an outgoing, confident person with bags of energy but it feels that I am just dwindling away at the moment. I know I need to ask her about how she feels about me but I don't want to pressurise her. I have given her about 4 opportunities to finish things and I have said I will walk away but she wants to continue things.

I know how you feel and I am not sure this relationship will last, so yes, I really do feel your pain. It's difficult enough as it is to even write this without getting a lump in my throat!

Apparently only time will heal, you have to keep yourself occupied with things that you enjoy doing. Yes, you will still think about him, but you will eventually get over it. It won't be easy and it really is not a nice feeling. Remember, there are probably 100's, maybe 1000's in the same boat as you. Be strong as best you can.

A.

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