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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi guys I need some help here. I know most of you are going to judge me or call me names but this is my situation. I'm 23 years old and been married for 2 1/2 years and have no children. After one year of marriage we moved to another country from my country. I had no friends and the only thing I would do in a whole day is going to work and spending time with my husband who to me meant the whole world. By time things had changed, and my husband has taken different jobs working long hours which resulted in me staying home alone. Where I work I meet a lot of men and get compliments and chatting up everyday. I found out that my husband has a child which he never spoke to me about, and that he went to meet the child and the mother behind my back, resulting in sleeping in their house one day.I went mad, and he promised me that he have nothing to do with the woman but still he used to call them everyday. The child is only 4 years and he was born exactly when me and my husband started our relationship.Since that time, I've been down because i couldn't face the fact that after following him to this country and leave my family for him, he would lie to me and do things behind my back like that.When I found out about this thing, I started speaking to a male friend about it and he too was telling me about the serious problems he has with his wife. He is married for 1 1/2 years and has a child of 1 year. We ended up falling in love with each other and we do have a deep connection. We meet nearly everyday. I feel very myself with him and I feel in a way which I don't think I ever felt before. Don't think that our relationship is just sexual, because it's not. Actually we fairly have sex. Sometimes I feel that I should cut all this but when I'm about to tell him, I figure it out that he's the only positive thing in my life.Most of the times I feel like leaving my husband, because he lost all my trust and it's very difficult for me to move on. I'm really trying to stick to him for the past 6 months but it's very difficult. Even if we're kissing, I just do it for us not to fight over it.Pleas advice me on what I should do.
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female
reader, soletshearit +, writes (8 May 2006):
 Look you need to decide who you want...you can't have both and by the sounds of it you have lost interest in your husband...if that is the case then just leave him if you are so unhappy that he has driven you into the arms of another man otherwise if you want to stay with your husband end the affair and give your marriage a try, talk to your husband and tell him how you feel...you can't have your cake and eat it...you sound like you are miserable in your marriage...if that is so then just leave it! Don't cheat, even if you think he has cheated...why stoop to that...cheating is a no-no in my books...if you cheat then I beleive it just answers your questions-do you wanna be with that person? NO
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