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My long-distance girlfriend is sending love messages to other guys.

Tagged as: Cheating, Dating, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 August 2009) 5 Answers - (Newest, 16 August 2009)
A male Kenya age 30-35, *urryd writes:

am in a long dist relationship for a year n half.i love this girl and recently we had sex after waitin for a year. after she slept i went through her cellphone and i saw some luv text she has sent to some guys.she didnt deny but she didnt explain.she just said that she loves only me. i even saw a text sent by me to her that she had fowarded.what do i do?

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A female reader, Elainey Singapore +, writes (16 August 2009):

If I am your girlfriend, I will make an explanation to you because I care and love you and will be very sensitive to how you feel. I am very sure girls will know that such things will make their love ones feels uncomfortable and I think you should not check her texts, instead you should ask her if she feels like showing you and maybe you can tell her how you feel. Insecurity will deepens trust issues.... Better solve this asap.

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A male reader, GrimmReality United States +, writes (15 August 2009):

GrimmReality agony auntOh my gosh, Murray. People usually delete messages and texts from "admirers" they are trying to ward off. She is gaslighting you bigtime.

lol I am sorry, but those tears she cried were crocodile. Please dont fall for it...that is the only advice I can give. because its not gonna get any better with her.

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A male reader, murryd Kenya +, writes (15 August 2009):

murryd is verified as being by the original poster of the question

i just decided 2 take a peek since i couldnt sleep.we were a bit tipsy.i hate confrontations so i didnt argue much because she started crying. she told me later that those were just admirers that she was trying to ward off.she also told me it was the first time she had ever slept out.i wnt to regain the truth i had in her

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A male reader, GrimmReality United States +, writes (15 August 2009):

GrimmReality agony auntWell young man, Long distance relationships rarely if ever work. BUT:

If you went to the lengths of having sex with her and waiting till she was asleep to look in her phone, you had some trust issues with her to begin with. Regardless of the texts, your behavior also shows that this is a relationship that is going only one place...NOWHERE!

Move on, date someone near you. At this rate you will never trust her and no expanation she will give will suit you. This relationship is doomed.

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A female reader, lostlove1 United States +, writes (14 August 2009):

It doesn't sound like shes easy to trust. If i were you i would have her at least explain or you shoud move on. When your in love with someone there is no reason at all to be sending the other sex "love" texts.

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